I'm and my ex broke up with me two months ago because I was too controlling. I'd get upset if he went out with friends or didn't stay up all night with me and I even pressured him to spend all his time with me getting mad if he was with his family which upset both him and his parents. He's from another city but lived in the dorms at our university so he didn't see his family much anyway but when he went home I'd still get upset if he was busy and didn't prioritize me. We practically spent every moment together on campus on the phone and even when I was home I'd call him for hours. I was immature and didn't respect his boundaries even making threats to hurt myself which I did and that only pushed him further away. Despite all this he was always patient with me but over time I made him feel like he was constantly walking on eggshells. At one point I thought if I played hard to get and distanced myself he'd fight harder for me so I told him I was done and he should move on though I didn't mean it. He begged me not to leave but I stood my ground. Then during spring break he tried really hard to see me one last time before going back to his city but I declined. After spring break he ended things for good. He told me he loved me but that we weren't compatible and he needed to live his life and enjoy his youth saying it was best to end things now.
Since then I've tried to see him a few times but he's told me to f*** off and that he feels nothing for me anymore claiming his life is more peaceful without me. I miss him deeply. He was my best friend and my first love and I completely regret not appreciating him more. He was there for me through so much and I was so focused on my own insecurities and immaturity that I didn't see how much he was sacrificing for me. He's even gone back to smoking something he gave up for me for a year. I feel like his friends might be encouraging him to move on and possibly even suggest talking to other girls. I'm struggling to accept that he might never come back but I still love him and don't want to move on. We were so close and I don't want that to be the end of our story. I've stopped reaching out for about a month now but I still feel like I should do something to show him that I've changed and that I want to be a better partner. There are only a couple of days left of uni and he's going back to his hometown soon so we won't see each other for over three months. I don't want him to forget about me during that time but I don't know how to reach out without pushing him further away. How can I approach this? What are some specific steps I can take to possibly rebuild what we had? I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want to keep making the same mistakes. Any advice on how to handle this situation would be appreciated.
Last updated on:2025-06-26T09:12:59+05:30
Comments (7)
baby baby baby you sound like me with some relationships I had. my my my. selfish self centered it's all about me type deal. I'm not bad mouthing you I'm just saying I had to come to grips that I use to live this way. n I EXPECTED OTHERS TO DO AS I SAY. all n all I had some me issues some self love issue some insecurities that I truly had to work on. you are in a great place self discovery changing old behaviors that no longer serve u. seems you realize you lost a good one. now he may not b lost in the wind. best thing you can do thoe to me in my eyes is lwt him be him
if he forgets you which he prob won't in his heart but maybe he has discovered somethings about him
you can't tell a person how much u changed n wanna b better trust me I done it million of times. its what we do today our actions don't need is to prove nun. babyyyy u might just gotta let this take its course cause forcing him to see u talk to u will only make him resent you more. let the fella b . you took him down thru there girl. I kniw cause I git some trail of heartbreaks myself. but sometimes ppl just need a reset.if he at peace n u love him like you say you do it might hurt bad but when we truly love someone n I'm learning this with my ex we gotta want what's best fir them even if it's not us! that's a part of acceptance I had to get to. Just my suggestion. let the man do him. if he come back it's supposed to be
continue to work on you. your doing great not many ppl can b so honest bout how they treated someone. so respect cause that's freeing in itself. take it easy. I hope it works our for ya though. mine got away but I'm rooting for her hard on the sidelines. everyday.
Sounds like he just ripped out the part of his heart that loved you the part that was hurting when you iced him out and buried it. Now that wound's a constant reminder of the pain you like, purposely put him through. Honestly there's nothing you can do but wait for him to fix himself first.
Bro it sounds like you forced this dude to change and still weren't happy. Hopefully next time you learn about boundaries.
Nah, me and my ex-girlfriend are done for good. Like never getting back together even if she was the last person on this earth for real. Pretty sure he feels the exact same way.
For the past two months I've barely been able to get up just trying to survive the day cause of all this guilt and regret. I'm such a terrible effing person for doing this to someone I loved so much someone who loved me more than anyone. I love him so much, and my heart aches for him but I've messed up big time. Idk what to do. Everyone's telling me to just accept it and move on but I don't know how to make them get that this guy has been my whole world for the past three years and I want us to actually do all our future plans.
@imcream Okay that sounds super toxic and honestly it's best you just move on. Sounds like you were kinda dependent on him for love, so you gotta learn to love yourself and bounce back. He's probably not coming back to that situationship because you're low-key like my ex and I want nothing to do with him. You can't play the victim here cause he's also a victim in this. Just gotta live with your choices and move on.
Bro it sounds like you forced this dude to change and still weren't happy. Hopefully next time you learn about boundaries.