this is my day 12, and i did alot of reflections and etc. one thing i realized about my ex is that, she violates some agreed boundaries between us. And i figured that, self sabotage was a part of her characteristics. what do you guys think? is self sabotage contributes to her pushing me away and end things out off the blue? i also figured that i need a future partner that is not too soft to handle, in terms of communications sand struggles ofcourse. but. yeah about the self sabotaging thing.. was i right? in my mind it was the cause of the break up
Last updated on:2025-07-15T06:00:05+05:30
Comments (9)
You’re asking all the right questions. Self sabotage could explain a lot but it’s also good that you’re thinking about what you need in a future partner.
It’s tough when boundaries are violated it can make things feel unstable. Self sabotage might’ve been a factor but it’s good you’re focusing on what you need moving forward
It’s great that you’re refleting on this. Self sabotage can definitely cause issues especially if it leads to breaking boundaries.
You might be onto something with the self sabotage idea. It’s hard to build something solid when boundaries aren’t respected.
its true, at the beginning of rs i wasnt strict of this and that, if there is a problem on the rs and im uncomfy of it, i adressed it, and hence boundaries was strengthen and establish. But at some point, this self sabotage behaviour lead to tiny bits of the boundaries being broken leading to trust issues & argument. The cycle goes on and on... the rs was a dream, it was wonderful, but the self sabotage was just not it. ik at some point there is also my fault and both of us fault. But the cycle of self sabitage, its just so not it yk. And tbh im still fighting for it, im still holding on till eventually, she's the one that ended us
It sounds like you’ve done a lot of deep thinking. Self sabotage could definitely play a role in pushing people away it’s tough to deal with in a relationship
yes, I would absolutely say yes. I also had a partner who would self sabotage constantly. He was a master of pushing others away when they got close to him. Oftentimes it’s a coping mechanism people learn overtime, but it’s very bad for relationships.
itt really is bad, i hope that ill not meet someone like this ever again in the future. Its so hard to cope especially when there was a serious argument that needs to be handled, not one side pushed u away and not stand their ground.
@PancakeSmash yes exactly, same here