I wanna acknowledge a little talked about aspect of a emotionally abusive relationship. The sex, my ex had a very high sex drive which as a guy is like a dream come true. I felt I had to intiate more with my previous relationship. And now shes intiating all the time now so I felt so wanted and desired. I personally thk and I maybe wrong but in my case that her high sex drive is a trauma response from unresolved trauma could be childhood or relationship and that she needs constant physical validation as a response to that trauma instead of sex being a way for us to show our love we have for each other. Saying that it seemed so mechanical and even intiation had no passion. But in retrospect thats one of the big things that kept me in the back and forth after I ended it. I think I seek physical validation as well to feel wanted and i'm less than if im not physical with someone, which is something that hurts because she moved on so quick to someone else and thats another thing I have to accept in my healing. Saying all this Is very cathartic, because if shes seeking physical validation as a truama response, im not missing out on anything just emotionless sex that someone needs to feel better about themselves, saying that sounds harsh but its emotional warfare out here, im tryna get to a place of indifference but i have to protect myself from now on
Last updated on:2025-07-24T02:30:04+05:30
Comments (7)
Emotional warfare is no joke but you’re choosing yourself now that’s a win.
It’s tough to face these truths but you’re breaking the cycle and learning to value yourself.
Man this hit hard. Recognizing the cycle is such a big step. You’re doing the work that’s what matters.
to feel wanted and desired is so normal and this is especially so when we are down. Just want to say now that you are aware of where you are at, look for other ways to feel wanted in a relationship. but yes feeling wanted is one of the first things that a good relationship fulfils
You’re really unpacking some heavy stuff I respect the self-awareness.
My ex rejected me and did not want to have sex with me anymore. And i felt unwanted. but i have understood that for whatever reasons he decided to do that it wasn't that i got less attractive..he just wants newness and does not believe in nurturing and growing and i am thankful that i am out of it, that i am free. sometimes i dip into self doubt and confidence goes for a toss when i go back to how harsh it all was.
I cant be physical with someone i dont have feelings for so that said the big reason i cant move on from my ex is this vicious connection cycle emotional to physical to emotional you know what i mean. And that is whyif you look for constant physical validation to feel wanted, it doesnt always work out. because many of us are looking for an emotional bond before going all the way and that does not mean that you are being rejected. it just means that the person who is in front of you has different criteria for getting physical.