I am on day 32 no contact and since I had to get a protection order against my spouse. I am struggling so hard right now and it feels like I cant see what my life is suppose to look like. I know its probably the trauma bond talking but spending 4 years with someone then having to go silent while ending it in fear doesn't give any relief. I have been going through so many feelings with this Rollercoaster and the physical and emotional pain is horrible.
Last updated on:2025-07-28T01:39:03+05:30
Comments (4)
i had to get a restraining order too. even after everything i still missed him. felt broken for that. you're not crazy. this is grief and survival tangled together.
ugh, the trauma bond lies SO LOUD. it told me i couldn’t survive without him. turns out i could. and i am.
day 32 is huge. i know it doesn’t feel like freedom yet but that’s still brave as hell. i remember shaking every morning for weeks after leaving. the pain felt endless. it does shift. i swear.
Even if it was a trauma bond, healing and discovering yourself will take time because for the years together, you kinda fuse and we all act slightly differently then when we would when we're alone. Take it easy on yourself. Do things that make you feel light, even when it's really hard. Really look at a flower or plant's leaf, look at the detail.. Observing something else can ground you, breathe, and if you're sitting down ground both feet, without socks, on the floor to really connect with the floor. This has a strange centering and calming effect. Remember you're doing the right thing and you will come out better on the other side. Thinking of you