Why is it not getting better yet? It's 27 days without him and I feel can't take it any longer. I miss him more than I could imagine. 💔
Of course it is not my first breakup – I've been with my ex-ex bf much longer, but in that case, despite I loved and missed him too and we had (well, still have) a dog together, I knew it was an unsustainable relationship and I had to move on.
But with this man, the breakup should not have happened. I loved him with all my heart and he too gave me love I've never experienced. No one ever treated me the way he did. He kept telling me how lucky he is and that I am giving him closeness he'd never had. We planned family together and I felt that after a long time, things are finally falling into place. I was the happiest I have ever been.
I tried my best to express it, but I somehow messed up. But so did he – he was not able to support me emotionally when my struggles were not logically comprehensible for him – and this was often. I only needed him to listen and make me feel safe when my mind was a mess. Instead, he diminished my struggles. I started to feel extremely insecure and, being a very sensitive person, as these situations (like him turning his back to me in bed when I was hurt and tried to explain) began piling up, I started crying like every other day. He hated it, which I understand but all I asked for was for was feeling heard and some reassurance. Despite all his amazing qualities, this was something I could not cope with and led to constant fights which I started but it was all from my pain.
Apart from that, he really was special. He loved to cook and do all kinds of things for me, tell me how beautiful I am, had an amazing relationship with my family etc. But he was very bad at listening and asking questions and simply cannot see that.
So he broke up with me – paradoxically, it was my empathy he admired and wanted to learn at first and what made him end things in the end. I feel so much guilt for not being able to control my emotions better and being the person I am. It cost me my dearest friend and lover, my future...
I cannot move on. Some days are ok, but this week I feel even worse than straight after the BU, starting to admit this is really over. What keeps me alive is my hope he will see his part in all this and will come back – but I am obsessed with that to the point I do not think about anything other than guessing what he is going through and if there is a chance. The last thing he wrote me after the breakup was: "I still love you, princess" and this kept feeding my hope. But after almost a month of no contact the faith is starting to fade into despair.
Why can't I just move on? This may be a chance to get my life together but I am so weak, disconnected and leaving my home is a torture. I turned 30 recently and the anxiety is killing me, feeling I am irredeemably flawed love is not meant for me. 💔
Last updated on:2025-07-31T05:05:02+05:30
Comments (6)
you’re not weak. you’re grieving the loss of your future the one you built together in your mind. that’s no small thing
Some things aren't just meant to last. I broke up with my bf on his birthday because I found out he is marrying someone else in an arranged set up and talking to her for past 1 month and a half. I had imagined all my life and everything. Still, it hurts. Every morning, Every but of silence I just crave to be with him, for him to understand me and nurture. I wanted him to fight for our love and he gave up. It's pathetic.
But yeah, all good things must come to an end.
i used to hope every day that she’d come back. imagined how she'd finally get it. eventually i realized i was still fighting for the version of her i wished she could be.
you do deserve love.
was he really that special if he couldnt be good at listening and asking questions!?! YOU should not be feeling bad for being the person you are. there is nothing wrong with having empathy, and the way you acted was an effect of how he couldnt be emotionally there for you. im so sorry he diminished your struggles. its funny how the thing they admire in the beginning becomes what makes them end it. the same thing happened to me. he said he loved how deep I was but then complained how I found meaning in everything. and things had to end because I was asking him to meet me at a certain depth, and he couldn't. DO NOT, and I mean do NOT, keep thinking about him and whats hes doing. that is his journey and his lessons in emotional availability that he may never even learn in this lifetime. but you? you have a beautiful heart and a capacity for love. you can start by showing yourself love. the love languages you enjoy, can actually be a guide for how to love yourself. with needing reassurance, sounds like you like words of affirmation. you need to speak kindly to yourself and have the same grace you give to others, but to yourself. you are not broken. you can practice gratitude, affirmations, or even just compliment yourself! (also you are beautiful, to give u one girlie). journalling as well. you got this. you lived before him and you can live after him. lmk if u need someone to talk to, I js went through something similar. praying for us 💜
this hurt to read. i feel so much of this. the crying every other day, the guilt the why couldn’t i just be less sensitive? same. i spent months begging myself to stop missing him. it’s not that easy. the love was real. it doesn’t just switch off. you didn’t mess up you felt.