we've been in each other's lives for like 13 years total

we've been in each other's lives for like 13 years total. Nine of those years we were together and living together then we broke up bcause he straight up said he wasn't ready for marriage and just wanted to chill without tying the knot. Since we'd been together for so long I wasn't about to keep going if marriage wasn't the next step. So we broke up then somehow ended up in a situationship for a few years until I decided I was done with that whole vibe. I accepted we wanted different things and I wasn't gonna keep letting my needs go unmet while he figured his life out. I talked to him about it and then went full no contact for four months. During that time he hit me up a few times saying he'd do whatever to make things work and couldn't imagine life without me. I kept ignoring him 'cause I felt like not enough time had passed for him to actually change; I just figured he was uncomfortable not having easy access to me anymore.
Eventually at the five-month mark he reached out again which was like two weeks ago saying he wanted to meet up and talk. I decided to give him a chance to say his piece. He told me he wanted to get back together that he wanted the same things I do (marriage and kids) and that he wanted us to try again even guaranteeing marriage within less than a year. I agreed but I made it clear he needed to show me he cares and actually put in the work for this relationship because I'm tired of always voicing what I want and having my needs ignored.
Everything was chill for a few days but now he's already slacking on reaching out. I noticed I was the only one calling him he wasn't really hitting me up. I told him Hey I'm not liking that I'm already feeling like I'm putting in more effort here; you need to reach out too. And he hit me with theit goes both ways line. I was like Yeah but remember we just had a talk and I told you I need you to make an effort? And he goes Really you're gonna bring that up again? It's been a day since that convo and he still hasn't called me. It's not even literally about the call it's that if I went months without speaking to you and you basically begged me back promising to do whatever it takes to make me happy then slacking off and getting comfortable in less than a week is a major red flag.
So my question is should I have another follow-up convo or just completely ghost him at this point? Or am I being dramatic? I'm just so done talking about the same stuff and I shouldn't have to constantly tell someone what they need to do to make me happy only for them to not do it and make me feel like a nag. I'm so frustrated and mad at myself because I was doing so well moving forward and now I feel like I took a million steps back. Please any advice or input on how to proceed with this I'm so frustrated. I'm choosing not to reach out in the meantime and I'm afraid that if I bring this up again he'll focus too much on me saying he hasn't called me instead of the real underlying issue.

Last updated on:2025-08-01T20:23:02+05:30