last night I had 3 cigarettes and was crying while listening to the song " love in the dark by adele "

last night I had 3 cigarettes and was crying while listening to the song " love in the dark by adele " ... I was about to text him and say , hey , since you care about my health I'm holding 3 cigarettes if you don't want me to ruin my health stay with me for a little longer , I had reliefed my anxiety for 15 min then had a shower to cover up the smoke smell because my parents doesn't like a girl to smoke , then the anxiety hitted me again , I slept afraid of the unknown , btw I'm gonna be 24 in october , I'm still trying to convience myself that it's better that he left me right now when all I have to stress about is my study and not leaving me on 35 or something were I have job and maybe children to stress about , I fighted to hard to stop myself from contacting him and begging him to stay in my life at least for this time because I'm really afraid and he's the only one who can calm my anxiety , and I know you'll say that I don't love him I just need comfot but NOOO , I've always wanted him by my side even in my happy moment I wanted to share it with him , hugs him and tell him how much I'm happy to celebrate that with him , I want him in my goods before bads , I can't hate him , he was perfect , he never raised his voice or treated me badly , he always was a gentleman with me even when I get upset and talk without thinking if I may hurt his feelings , I can't hate him because he was really good with me , I wish him the best but deep down I'll still hope and question , why not me . god I love you bae with all my heart

Last updated on:2025-08-11T09:26:03+05:30