About a week ago, I posted about breaking no contact. It hasn't been too bad, and everyone that answered helped me so much. My current question has to do with the sort of fall out. He seemed to still want me to talk to him, or even saying so to avoid discomfort. One day he was silly and playful on the phone, the next he is still and weird over text, then he's avoidant, then he's trying to sneak up on me. The mixed signals are part of the reason that I pulled back in the first place. Now, I feel like a horrible person because I reached out with hope and intention to repair, and I know that he was hurt by my pulling back, but the hot and cold and lack of communication is already happening. I don't want to be pulled back into that, and I should have known better. I missed our banter, and part of me wonders if I was scared of not being enough for anyone. I keep beating myself up because I feel like I played with his feelings, even if it wasn't my intention. I feel bad because, even though I wanted to work on at least being friendly, he isn't putting in the effort. and deep inside, an angry part of myself is saying that the phone goes both ways. I shouldn't be the only one trying, especially since he seemed ok with me reaching out. Does anyone have advice?
Last updated on:2025-08-12T02:09:02+05:30
Comments (4)
the control of you coming back more than actually showing up for you.
i get it, i reached out once thinking we could be friendly too. it’s hard when the effort’s not the same on both sides.
i hated that whiplash. one day laughing like nothing happened, the next acting like i was the problem. makes you feel like you’re losing your mind.
You shouldn't feel guilty at all. I'm in the same situation and always been like that since I meet him but I'm done feeling guilty because I don't do anything for getting back together. If he wants, he will choose you through facts not words 😉