My sister in law heard about our whole journey, because she was also there for me right after my husband died, and knew it took me 4 years to try to heal from that & finally met my ex in what feels like fate on a cruise. She heard all the highs and then more recent lows, as money stress, my anxious attachment and his avoidant tendencies, both of us being in bad headspaces with depression for different reasons, lots of worries & arguments about future money arrangements as he discovered he’d be paying his ex $3k a month for support/alimony. On top of us being long distance & his ongoing divorce being years long and super stressful for him. But what we had deep down was special, everyone saw it. She wrote my ex-boyfriend a long message about how she understood the breakup to work on ourselves but just thinks it'd be stupid to lock the door and throw away the key forever. She told him she's already seeing me become the happier confident woman I used to be and said I was "realizing" how much he and his kids and having that life together meant to me. She said it'd just be a shame for two people who are obviously soulmates to never try again. This was his response: "I feel like there was just too much to overcome for me after our last visit and that we both need to find an alternative to be happy, as you know we had been rocky for a while and it feels like for me this was the final straw, it’s disappointing to hear that it had to come to this to realize how she really felt." It sounds certain and final, but anyone else think it’s just interesting choices of words to use? Guys, can you read it and mansplain, if you were done done wouldn’t you be a little more, idk, firm sounding? Could she have planted a seed? I just think the wording is so weird.
Last updated on:2025-08-18T08:58:45+05:30
Comments (5)
staring at a text like that for days, rereading it over and over because the words felt half open, half closed. i thought maybe it left space for hope but really it was just him trying not to be cruel. i get why you’re spinning on the phrasing.
i hate when they use soft wording like that. it’s like they’re breaking up but still trying to sound polite, so you’re left overthinking every word. i’ve had that exact “final straw” line dropped on me and yeah, it stung because it made me wonder if it was really final or just an excuse.
Don't fall into that trap of hoping he'll come back. It will keep you from healing and you will stay miserable. Focus on yourself and your healing journey.
I know, it’s true, but I feel like I’m really turning a corner after semi-spiraling about that last night, whenever he makes contact I tend to try to interpret everything he’s saying. But I realize that I want to do the self work for myself and it would never be a healthy dynamic if he also didn’t and he also is the type to resist that kind of emotional vulnerability so it’ll never happen.
@DropNest23 my ex is dead to me. The few times he has texted me, I have not responded. I'm on day 55 of no contact. It's easy once you really make up your mind to do it. After the way he hurt me, he no longer deserves my friendship.