Day 54.. on Day 50 I thought I was starting to feel better but turns out it was the just the top of a Rollercoaster just for me to plummet back down into these feelings of hopelessness

Author

Day 54.. on Day 50 I thought I was starting to feel better but turns out it was the just the top of a Rollercoaster just for me to plummet back down into these feelings of hopelessness. Im just not okay and my panic attacks came back because the trauma bond is trying to eat me alive. However I did make a friend who was going through the same thing I am so it makes it a little easier. Support is 100 percent necessary I am finding when I didnt really have one aside from him because it was all he would let me have. This Rollercoaster is insane. Que- JellyRoll- I am not okay.

Last updated on:2025-08-18T21:27:02+05:30

Comments (8)

LonelyME
LonelyME 7 mths ago

you’re noticing the patterns, the ups and downs, and how much having support actually shifts things, even if just a bit

leaviekovb
leaviekovb 7 mths ago

it makes sense why it hurts so much, glad you found someone who gets it even a little, that tiny space of comfort helps more than you’d think

Kiilavio21
Kiilavio21 7 mths ago

yeah that ride sucks, i remember feeling like i climbed out just to get shoved back in, panic hitting me outta nowhere, rage and confusion all mixed up

XYZ123456
XYZ123456 7 mths ago

I'm on day 49 and I was hoping after day 50 it'll get better, but the sadness remains. How do I stop myself from hoping he'll be back? 😭

JojoIIV29
JojoIIV29 7 mths ago

day 50? I just started today😭

XYZ123456
XYZ123456 7 mths ago

@JojoIIV29 the trick is to take it one day at a time, it helped me. I honestly don't know how I did it. while I no longer have the urge to text. I still feel miserable sometimes 😭

SnapFlex38
SnapFlex38 7 mths ago

@XYZ123456 I am in a spot that I don’t think the sadness will ever go away. so many years of marriage. I wish she would come back but day 50 and I am giving up hope. I wish you the best journey.

XYZ123456
XYZ123456 7 mths ago

@SnapFlex38 I wish he would come back too 😭 Sending you all my strength to get through this difficult phase of your life