It's been a few days since we broke up. I've been with him since last October, and he now lives next to me. I helped him get the place to live here, and it's so hard now that I see him every day. it's even harder to think that I'll be sleeping alone every night, and never making music with him or sharing laughs...anything. He seems better since he broke it off, but I did nothing but care for him, support him, love him, and let him chase his dreams. He said himself, he doesn't want me anymore. I miss the man who wrote songs for me, WANTED to spend time with me, held my hand, loved to touch me, kiss me, told me how beautiful I was. A month ago it all just stopped suddenly, I was losing him. he stopped wanting dates, intimacy, affection, everything. He instead wanted to spend all his time with his friends, and wanted me to sleep next to him. I feel so used, neglected, and rejected, and it's like a withdrawal from the man I fell in love with. I just got all my stuff from his room today, and it hit me. that was the last time seeing it. I helped him decorate and set up, I watched TV shows in there with him, shared beautiful moments. That was the last time I could smell his cologne, HIM. It's over, and I am heartbroken. But he has become incredibly selfish and emotionally detached since my mom told me she was dying. A lot of guys can't seem to handle grief when all I asked for was a little time with my boyfriend. I don't know. and I don't know him anymore. I have to move on. he doesn't deserve my tears, my pain. he deserves to miss me like I miss him. I hate avoidant attachment styles. I hate how I have been treated when I needed him most. sorry if this doesn't make much sense, I'm kinda drunk right nowđ¤đ
Last updated on:2025-08-19T04:38:47+05:30
Comments (13)
itâs clear how much you gave him, how much space you held for him, and now youâre standing in that gap alone, noticing the difference in him and yourself
my ex is avoiding attachment as well, one thing I know is when they act like theyâre completely OK. Itâs only because theyâre not letting themselves process any of the emotions. But thatâs not a healthy person, and somebody that would leave you alone, knowing that your momâs passing away is pretty evil, letâs just be frank. You donât need someone like that in your life. It sucks that he lives next-door though because now youâre stuck, seeing him possibly bring other people over and acting like his life is just going on without you, thatâs a whole other type of torture. Iâm sorry, hopefully you can move from wherever you are soon because honestly, that would be my personal hell.
Avoidant*
Our landlord has 2 houses next to each other where she rents out all the bedrooms. He has 5 roomates, but theres a female roommate who he has been hanging out 1 on 1 with even when we were together(shes also my friend).I went to a house party for all of us, and they were laughing, joking, touching, teasing, everything. that was literally 2 days after. so I have a feeling he wanted to shoot his shot EVEN THOUGH she has a bf as well. I know so much about him yet I don't know him at all. Who knows. He broke my heart and left when I needed him most. Now, I feel more alone than ever, and he's getting the comfort he needs right now from another girl. Freaking sucks man.
and I'm sorry you have to deal with the loss of a guy like that. it's like they love bomb, you fall in love SO EASILY, and then it eventually is too much or they are bored and ready for a replacement.
@xuser14369 thankfully I donât think mine has had time for another connection yet because heâs been out of town for work or with his three kids all week but what I hope for him is to do the inner work. I donât like to hear about the visual of your ex flirting with that girl two days later, I had an ex do that while we were still dating and we broke up and they made it official like a month later, but they had been fooling around while we were still in a relationship
I feel you too, I was with her last September. It was a rush but it wasn't really a rush, it felt natural, I don't know how to explain. I wasn't one looking for relationships last year but I loved her since 2021 and kept it till she told me she liked me and wanted us to date and we agreed. Long story cut short she said she fell out of love for me and she doesn't know why, I didn't want her to go....No, I don't want her to go, but she doesn't want me back, she doesn't even miss me. I know for sure she loved me, I mean it's not like I have a million dollars sitting in my bank, we were good, I don't know what went wrong, but I know I have to let go, which I'm sure will be for the best... though a part inside me wishes she comes back someday
I hate the feeling. I want him back so desperately, but I feel it's my fear of abandonment and being alone that makes me want him. I focus so much on the good times and am still so in love, but he's not that person anymore. I'm in love with a memory. I don't understand how you can drop someone who's so good to you because you're not willing to try for them. I don't understand how people can fall out of love like that. I'm sorry you're going through this, tooâ¤ď¸
@xuser14369 Like fr, I really don't understand how you say you love someone but then along the way you don't love them anymore, and she's not bad, I do understand that we cannot control our feelings or emotions totally, but come on, fight for me, even if it's a little bit. Thanks btw
@JojoIIV29 I get that. he stopped trying. He wasn't willing. I became like a chore when all I wanted was a teensy bit of time. it's so unfair. it feels so unfair. I want to be fought for, I want to feel wanted and needed. In a relationship, you do things for each other, but it was one sided. soooo dumb. and ofc
@xuser14369 one sided, I feel that. you know I hate that she's kinda like the bad guy here, is she bad? đ
itâs like your heart is still in his room while heâs already gone, you loved him so fully and itâs okay to feel shattered, even if it hurts to admit
yeah i remember feeling that exact burn, doing everything for someone and watching them vanish like you were nothing, itâs like they stole a piece of your life and left it empty