I can’t stop crying.
I don’t miss him. I’m not crying because I miss him, I’m crying because I can’t understand how he could have treated me so badly. Why couldn’t he have the basic human decency to be careful? He’s left me with horrible consequences. It’s almost time to go back and see him in the school hallways… I really wanted to return feeling like a new personmore attractive, stronger but the truth is, I can’t. I dislike myself more than usual, I don’t like how I look, and I’ve lost the will to do anything about it. I constantly sabotage myself, I’m tired of my own being. I don’t have the strength to want to improve anymore. God, I really have tried to stay strong, but I just can’t. I wish I had a friend by my side, someone I could hug and tell everything without censorship. But with everything I’ve been bottling up… I don’t want to bother others with my problems, yet in truth, I just want to cry in someone’s arms.
It’s horrible that I gave so much of myself to someone who, in the end, didn’t care about me. My feelings didn’t matter to him after all…
I’m exhausted from doing things. I just want to rest from pretending!! Sometimes, I wish I could talk to one of our mutual friends and ask them if he regrets what he did… I wish he would feel guilty.
Last updated on:2025-08-21T09:40:44+05:30
Comments (6)
reading this i see someone who gave too much, then blamed themselves when it broke them down. i’ve seen it happen before. the self hate doesn’t come from the breakup, it comes from turning all that anger inward instead of at him.
i used to cry like that too, not because i wanted him back, just because i couldn’t understand why i wasn’t worth basic kindness. i kept wishing someone would sit with me and just let me talk. even now i remember how empty that part felt, trying to hold it all in so i wouldn’t “bother” anyone.
i remember walking into class after it all blew up, he was laughing like nothing ever happened while i felt like i was rotting inside. it made me hate him more. the way he got to just exist while i carried the mess he left. i used to wish someone would tell me he felt guilty too, but i knew he didn’t.
You do have someone you can tell everything without censorship. Us. In this community. Everyone is here for the same reason and we are very supportive of each other. Just keep posting your thoughts. I know it made me feel better to do so and the positive feedback helps too.
Reading this felt really good... better than a hug. Thank you
@shssssshsis I'm so glad I could make you feel better. It will get better. I promise.