Day 3 of No Contact
I’m doing better, but as time goes by, I realize that things I used to enjoy—like joking around with dirty jokes with my friends or watching intimate scenes in movies—now trigger me. I know I shouldn’t let him affect the things I used to enjoy, but whenever I see a TikTok or anything related to dirty jokes or intimate content, I can’t stop thinking about him trying to be cuddly and intimate with me while hiding that he was seeing someone else behind my back.
It disgusts me that I can’t even enjoy these things without feeling upset. Even when I want to share funny or dirty joke videos with my friends, I suddenly remember what he did to me, and it makes me angry. I’m trying to move on, but I feel like I need more time to get past these triggers.
The thought of being close to someone in an intimate or sexual way now disgusts me because of everything he did. These memories and the trauma he caused still linger, but overall, I’m doing much better—even if certain things still trigger me.
Last updated on:2025-08-21T14:23:05+05:30
Comments (6)
That sounds really tough, and I can relate. My first partner cheated on me after 4 years and I was in the same place you are now. The betrayal and hurt stayed with me for so long that even 6 months to a year later, I still felt broken and stuck in those thoughts.What you’re doing is actually really healthy — writing down your triggers, acknowledging them, and trying to understand how they make you feel. That’s something to be proud of.I’m going through my second big breakup right now. Just 3 days ago, my partner of 4 and a half years ended things. This time it wasn’t betrayal, just the fact that she didn’t love me romantically anymore. I don’t blame her I took her love for granted. I got too caught up in my own hobbies, stopped making time for fun together, and moving in added pressure that pulled us apart. this time I don't have the anger just the pain the guilt of not realising earlier and stepping up. the sorrow. but I know now I must grow It hurts, but we’re both learning and growing through these experiences. You’re not alone in this.
i went through that too. things i used to enjoy felt tainted because they reminded me of him. i hated that at first, but slowly those things started feeling like mine again. it took longer than i wanted, but the triggers faded with time.
how do you do it?
i get this. i couldn’t even laugh at certain jokes without thinking about my ex being fake with me. it pissed me off that he ruined stuff that used to be fun. i’d see a meme and just slam my phone down cuz all i could picture was him lying straight to my face while acting sweet. it’s like he left fingerprints on everything.
🫂
it sounds like the disgust isn’t really about the jokes or the movies, it’s about how those moments remind you of his two-faced behavior. the humor and intimacy used to feel safe, now they connect straight back to betrayal. that’s why it feels so off right now.