can someone tell me if my problem after the breakup could be that i consider love only if its toxic,painful and comes with problems,from his side,i mean i dont think its love if someone doesnt have problems that i need to fix,i feel like a therapist,could this be because its the only love i was taught?
Last updated on:2025-08-23T21:48:20+05:30
Comments (5)
reading what you wrote, it sounds like you were taught to measure love by struggle. so when things are calm, your mind doesn’t register it as real. it’s not that you can’t love differently, it’s just the model you were handed.
how do i change this
i get what you mean. i used to call it love when i felt needed, even if it drained me. it was the only way i knew how to connect. it’s not weird that your brain links love with fixing, especially if that’s what you grew up around.
so how do i change my concept of love
i used to think if he wasn’t broken then he didn’t need me. i kept picking guys who lied or drank too much because it felt like proof i mattered when they let me fix something. now i look back and it just feels like i was babysitting adults.