I took a lot of courage for me to end the relationship. I was suffering with resentment being built towards my ex boyfriend. I forgave him too fast in theory without actually doing the work for myself in taking him back. I was in pain and he was the instant fix. In doing this being with him again I slowly started understanding that I can’t look at him with the same eyes full of love and innocence anymore. The fact that he could betray me before, during and after the relationship was so off putting but what is most frustrating is knowing I accepted it. I had such a desire to be loved and settled for a crumb. I know that this love is now something I need to pour into myself and this is me doing exactly that. we have a trip at the end of the year for a month that we agreed to still go on. I’m hoping that my self worth and confidence is back by then. I have decided to not contact him until the day of our flight. I have exactly 97 days to get myself together. I don’t want him back I just hope that he’s happy. I found that I don’t care about what he’s doing the way I did the first time and to me this is a good step. I do however miss my best friend. I’m trying to remain as optimistic about this experience and trying to pay attention to what it’s teaching me
Last updated on:2025-08-27T10:56:03+05:30
Comments (7)
you already sound different than when you first went back. noticing you don’t care what he’s up to, making rules for yourself, planning around the trip. that shift shows you’re building something for yourself now.
You’re incredibly strong for recognizing what you truly need and choosing yourself. It’s not easy to walk away from someone you care about, especially when you still miss the friendship. But choosing peace, self-worth, and healing is powerful. I admire how honest you’re being with yourself—those 97 days are a gift to grow and come back stronger. Keep pouring that love into yourself. You deserve more than crumbs. I’m rooting for your healing journey.
thank you for being so kind!
i missed that piece more than the relationship. the talking, laughing, just having them around. it’s weird when you know you don’t want them back but you still want that part.
it’s so conflicting!
i hate how fast i let mine back in too. like i knew what he did but i wanted that comfort more than i cared about myself. felt sick realizing i wasn’t even mad at him, i was mad at me for letting it slide.
sometimes they betrayal we do to ourselves is more hurtful. I understand you entirely. on a brighter note the acknowledgement you have at the moment is such a good step my love and you should be so proud of yourself!