Dear Clark,

Last night, I dreamt of you. You weren't beside me, and we weren't talking or touching or even together in the way I sometimes imagine in dreams. But I saw you driving, smiling. That same smile I used to see on video calls when you'd tilt the camera just a little and glance at me with that boyish grin. It was so ordinary once, but last night, it felt extraordinary.

When I woke up, I couldn't shake the image of you. It felt like deja vu, like I had been transported back in time, back when things were simpler, back when love was still alive between us. And then, as if the night wanted to deepen its mark, I saw a message waiting for me on Reddit. Not from you, but from someone who claimed to know me and in some strange way, claimed to speak for you.

I know it wasn't you. I know better than to put my heart into words that don't come directly from you. But there was one line that caught me and refused to let go: "But for Clark, you were it for him."

Clark, I don't know if that's true. I don't know if you ever thought of me that way, if you ever saw me as "it" the one, the person you couldn't imagine life without. I know our story is messy, broken, and full of regrets, but when I read those words, a part of me ached to believe them.

Because for me, you are it. Still. Even now, after all this silence, after all this distance, after all this pain, you are still the one my heart circles back to.

The timing of it all felt strange. To see you in my dream, smiling, and then to read words about you that made me question everything, it was almost as if the universe wanted me to feel you again, to remind me that my heart hasn't completely let you go. And maybe it never will, not fully.

I know we're not talking anymore. I know you've blocked me, cut me off, and maybe you've already moved forward to a life where I don't exist. But in case these words ever find you, I want you to know that last night I remembered you in the gentlest way. Not with anger. Not with sadness. But with the memory of your smile, the same smile that once lit up my world.

I don't know if I was ever truly "it" for you. But for me, you will always be one of the most important parts of my story. And maybe that's enough.

Always,
Alyssa (Phineas, Arlo, Fifi, and Mang)