no contact

you’re in that place where the thought of silence feels impossible but reaching out feels worse after. i remember being caught between those two and just sitting in it for weeks.

for me it started small. like one morning i told myself just today i won’t reach out. then the next. it wasn’t clean or perfect. i still slipped.

i didn’t manage at first. i kept texting, deleting, texting again. it felt like ripping skin off. i hated myself every time i broke it.

do things that keep you away from your phone ! i was horrible at checking my phone so i put it on loud for emergencies but left it on the counter while working, reading, word searches. it hurts so much the first few days because reality hits when they don't reach out how little you meant to them but it gets easier. im on day 4 and even thought i have weak moments, i realized that why should i keep making an effort when he wont for me? i deserve atleast that and if he wont give me the time of day, someone else gladly will one day but until then, i'm learning to love myself again ❤️🫶