65 days no contact and for some reason today I just realized how quick life is changing… I am trying to create a new life that I don’t know what it’s suppose to look like, I don’t know if him and I will ever speak again. I don’t know if I even really ever knew him because of his narcissism. I think I numbed any anger for a while and replaced it with grief but it is almost unbearable. I have not done therapy this whole time and really realized that I need to start because I have no idea who I am without him. I wish this deep pit would just go away.
Last updated on:2025-08-30T05:31:02+05:30
Comments (5)
this feels like watching someone shift from holding anger down to finally letting it show. sounds like the grief is sitting louder now that the numb is wearing off.
i felt that same blur of not knowing who i was after he left. i didn’t recognize myself without the relationship. i get why you say unbearable. i cried at random times for months.
i woke up every day feeling like someone ripped out my insides. i didn’t even know if my anger was real or if i just wanted him to feel something. grief swallowed everything.
I know how you feel. I'm on day 66. I've been angry for over a month now. I don't know if my ex and I will ever speak again. I went to a few therapy sessions. I don't think it really helped. I also don't know who I am without him, but I realize that I need to be happy on my own without a partner. I think I always relied on my partner for my happiness. I now realize that's wrong. But I don't know how to be happy on my own. I wish i could figure it out. I guess i need a different therapist.
I know what you feel, I stepped into my partners life and lived his reality for years away from everything I knew, away from family and friends even away from my own country. Then I came back home without my things, my job, my dog and bunny, my friends and most of all the place that felt like home and I was just supposed to have my own life all of a sudden. My entire identity was tied to my life with him so completely and it felt like I was thrown back into my teens without an income to even be my own independent person in the span of 24h. I'm still figuring out who i am months later and I don't feel any closer to my own dreams or wants yet, they all just feel pointless when I'm alone. I hope your journey to finding yourself and a healed heart is not too challenging and that the realisation comes to you when you least expect it. ❤️ Definitely seek out someone who can help you process your anger and grief in a healthy way, it might do wonders for you! 🥰