We were together for like 3 years and lived together for about half that time. We even shared a dog. He talked about marriage buying me a car and seemed totally committed. I got a new job in another city which he was so down for and we planned the whole move together. For weeks we were packing side by side. He told me he had movers lined up picked out furniture for our new place and even said he bought us season passes to a local amusement park. He even bought himself a parking pass at the new complex.
But literally six days before the move he told me he wasnt coming. Turns out hed been secretly planning his own move the entire time just packing his own stuff. I begged him to stay asked for reasons suggested counseling or even doing long distance. He said no and told me he didnt love me anymore and didnt want to hurt me more. When he left he was sobbing and said he wasnt sure if he was feeling regret or guilt. His family was shocked too since he never mentioned any issues. The only complaint he gave me was that I could be messy which I totally wouldve worked on if hed said anything sooner.
Fast forward to now I found out he just closed on building a house by himself. That cut deep. Part of me wonders if he left cause he didnt see buying a home with me. And if thats the case why not just talk about it? I would've been cool with him buying on his own since Im not in a place to purchase right now. Instead I cant help but feel like he just lived with me rent-free for a year and a half to save up for his down payment. Im also wondering if hes just going through a quarter-life crisis and this is another rash decision. His mom and I both think he might be a dismissive avoidant and the reality of moving in together again made him run. Im supposed to meet him soon to swap the rest of our stuff and I dont know if I should let on that I know about the house.
Do you think there's any chance we could still work through this or should I accept that hes truly gone.
Last updated on:2025-09-04T20:01:02+05:30
Comments (4)
I think he used you and financially abused you. I am really sorry
This same shit happend to me. Guess what he is enjoying "his house and all. Lived off me rent free
I'm sorry to say this but dont be surprised if a "new" girl moves in with him pretty much right away.
It sounds like you’re dealing with a really tough situation. His behavior, especially the way he handled the breakup and the revelation about buying a house, raises a lot of questions about his motivations and feelings.
Given the circumstances, it might be helpful to approach the meeting to swap belongings with a clear head and a focus on closure for yourself.
As for whether there's a chance to work through this, it seems like his decision to leave was quite sudden and based on feelings he hadn't expressed to you during your relationship.
You might want to consider talking to him about how you feel during the meeting, but keep it focused on closure rather than reopening old wounds.
Take care of yourself during this meeting and prioritize your emotional well-being.