again, in love with a homeless drug addict. i tried the no contact but it was too hard just because i worry for his well being. when he doesnt answer for a day or 2, i panick and he gets mad. but when i dont message, i worry because he doesnt msg first. its so different because hes constantly in survival mode, i get hes not home bored with lots of time to talk but i'm not used to only talking to the person i love every few days. weve discussed sobriety and until then, theres definitely boundaries, he cant come to my house, he cant come near my kids, i wont go see him if i do have my kids even if he needs something and im just letting him do him. i tried pushing the sobriety (i know, you cant force them) he had went 2 weeks without but missed his "street family", went to see them and got wrapped up again. im in no rush to be with anyone, i prefer to be alone so i can focus on my kids and career, im just kinda waiting for him to hit rock bottom and decide himself to try sobriety again, praying it doesnt kill him first. its horrible but some days i wish he would go to jail just so i know hes safe, its heartbreaking. ive been in love with this guy for over 2 years. i met him working at the shelter and hes not your stereotypical "junkie". he has such a kind and caring heart, does everything for everyone and believe me, everyone takes advantage of him. im just not ready to fully let go but so hurt all the time because its so different not talking to the person you love all the time. is that selfish?
Last updated on:2025-09-06T23:01:02+05:30
Comments (4)
it sounds like you’re holding two things at once, protecting your kids and still trying to care for him. that gap between what you need and what he can give is where the hurt keeps landing.
when mine disappeared for days i’d spiral, imagining the worst, then feel stupid when he finally showed up. it wasn’t selfish, it was just love mixed with worry.
I have just left a relationship with someone who is using. I couldn’t cope with the lie’s anymore. Questioning my own sanity. I feel so terrible at the moment. so guilty because I know he is in so much pain and struggling with his own demons. I can’t stay at the expense of my own mental health.
i was in love with someone who was using too. i hated how i kept waiting for the phone to buzz, even though i knew it would only come when he wanted something. i used to think maybe jail would save him too. i felt sick for even wishing that.