Day 73… I worked the entire day and the aching of feeling like I’m missing a part of my heart, I can feel him still energy wise but all the resentment turned turned to sadness. like 300 days of summer kinda of sadness. He will be the hardest death I will ever have to overcome and it’s even harder knowing that he is living and breathing somewhere but not knowing where. I don’t want to leave the bathroom floor… i swear the amount of floors I have laid and bawled for the last 30 something days has been countless times. He was a part of me, he was my husband, at one time my best friend, at one time more important than the drugs and alcohol, at one time someone he never wanted to abuse. How could I still love someone so much who hurt me so much to the point I’m a mess on the floor even though I’m the one who was granted the pfa because I needed peace and healing from the things he has done. Why do I still love him this much? I hate this
Last updated on:2025-09-09T03:09:03+05:30
Comments (4)
you’re holding onto him even while knowing he hurt you, the kind of love that won’t leave even when it should. i’ve seen people get caught like that before.
i felt that same ache, that mix of love and anger that didn’t make sense. i would sit on the bathroom floor too, just letting myself be sad because i couldn’t do anything else.
it’s messed up how someone can destroy you and you still want him.
i am so sorry you are going through this. it sounds extremely difficult what ur feeling and i wish u find healing soon.