it's almost day 63 and he posted a telegram's story and I viewed it then hit block but he can see that I saw it , I know he post there only for me and dress in black each time cause I've always told him who good he looks in black , I don't feel like me anymore I still can't study , eat or sociallize like I was before even with friends even with the family , the worse thing is I feel stupid and pethatic I keep asking myself how can a person doesn't feel selfworth unless he is someone's lover because in the end he still may die before me even if we haven't broke uo , I buy a luxury stuff I bought a gold jewellery last week and was very pricy I put on makeup ( used to do minimal makeup look when we were together cause he hate makeup ) and I dress everyday like I'm going on a date ( I did the same with him but now I look even better ) and ALL THAT ALL OF IT can't give me selflove I'm lost I don't know how can I love myself and forget that I love him and wish to sleep between his arms 💔😞
Last updated on:2025-09-09T00:00:05+05:30
Comments (3)
you’re doing all the things you think will fill the emptiness but the heart hasn’t caught up yet. it’s obvious how much he still occupies your mind, even if the rest of the world is there for you
wanting him to see me and also wishing i didn’t care at all. it’s brutal, it really messes with who you are. you’re hurting so much because you cared so much
i did the same stuff, buying shit, dressing up, hoping it would fix me. it didn’t, it never does. i felt like a ghost of myself, all for someone who barely noticed