it hurts. my heart aches, its so painful it feels like I cant even breathe. I just cant do anything. I cant get out of bed I cant eat I cant move. And its been days and im just getting worse. he consumes my whole mind. and ive tried all the 'distract yourself' 'go do something' 'feel the feelings' but for Christ's sake all I do is fucking feel! it consumes me every minute of every day! I have been off and on for over 2 fucking years! but I always go back. hoping maybe he'll be different, if I try harder, prove myself a little more, maybe it will be enough, maybe this time he'll see me, maybe this time he'll fucking stay and fight for me. but he doesnt. he never has. but I cant let go, I cant block him, I cant even stop myself from texting him. but he shows that he doesnt care, im not even worth a 2 second text back or a 10 minute conversation. oh but im beautiful enough to want to fuck or physically satisfy him. that he has lust for me. and the physical connection we have ive never had before, it feels good, it makes me feel good. we have alot in common. but its not enough to him. he knows what he's doing, he knows that he bread crumbs me, each time he'll give just a little bit more so I think that he's changing or that I actually mean something and then he rips it away. he says all his other friends love and care about him and their friendships are so great, so I know he's capable, im just not good enough or worth enough to him to receive that. ive tried in every single way I know how to express and explain my care, love, affection. but nothing. he makes me feel like i am nothing. and this pain i cant stand it i cant take it anymore. I want to claw my heart out, get out of my skin. I cant take it anymore.
Last updated on:2025-09-14T21:37:03+05:30
Comments (6)
this reminds me of how i stayed years too long with someone who fed me just enough attention to keep me hooked. it’s not that you don’t know what’s happening, you’re already saying it. it’s that the pull of the connection feels stronger than the truth in front of you.
i used to think if i just loved harder he’d finally see me. i felt like i was running on empty and still handing over more. it wasn’t that i wasn’t enough, it was that he only ever took what i gave and never met me there.
laying on the floor screaming into a pillow because he wouldn’t even answer a simple text. felt like i was begging for crumbs and still couldn’t stop myself. i hated myself for wanting him when he treated me like trash.
I promise it gets better.
relax take deep breaths i know it's a tough phase but please don't loose hope like this it's not right for you
okay so let's just think what is hurting you that you are not enough for him or he is the one who is hurting you again and again
see girlie 1st thing you are enough in yourself you have your self worth and not any other fucking guy will decide it if he is not available for you he is making you anxious he is destroying your mental and physical health then he is not the one see outside of him accept first that he is not the one you deserve better take it on your self respect that he never changed he will not and you are not bob the builder don't fix him if someone wants to geneuinely change he or she will do it in first time if it's not happening he doesn't want to start writing I am not saying that you have to write dear diary just write whatever your mind says write pros and cons of being with him read it whenever you get in anxiety go outside for a walk try to meditate and breathe be grateful to what you have meet your friends who geneuinely loves you ❤️✨He is not forever he is your delay Delay to the self growth and achievement you can achieve the world think about the positivity even my breakup just had 1 week but I am enough strong to let go not because I am strong because I followed the advice of meditation journalling moving out focus on things ❤️✨🤌🏻you have to start and take action because even manifestation cannot work without action
all what you have written is so true and I hear it loud and clear. xxx