I had someone who was clearly interested in me want to hook up but all I could think of is me talking to this person is cheating on my ex girlfriend when she broke up with me. It's actually never been like this for me in any of my other relationships, no matter who broke up with who. I've also not had this back and forth where we'd break up, then we'd reconcile. I know it's not healthy to hold on, it's not healthy to be back and forth, and it's not healthy to try and get with someone else. But why am I so hoping things eventually work out?
Last updated on:2025-09-15T01:20:04+05:30
Comments (4)
you’re holding onto a pattern that hasn’t existed before, testing boundaries, and your hope is just your mind trying to make sense of the mess.
that feeling, wanting someone else but still wishing the old thing could work. it’s confusing and it hurts. you’re allowed to feel both at once.
i was like that, wanting something else but feeling guilty, like my brain and heart were on different teams. it sucked seeing myself hope for the impossible.
I was in a smiliar situation when it came to breaking up and then reconciling. And I realized for myself why I so wanted things to work out was:
1. I think things could of change but it was just a cycle, and I was the only one that wanted things to work out for the best even though he did already let me go mentally.
2. I thought that they were the one for me. Like yes no relationship is perfect but also certain behaviors should not me tolerated in the relationship.
3. I felt like this was the only love that was out there for me.
4. The connection I had with him, was very unique compared to others, and I think that I could not have thay with someone else, unless its him.
So I faced reality and accepted that nothing is going to change, and that its a cycle. Even though that is hard to do which i will admit, I realized that is a situation I dont want for myself. And despite that it is hard to let go, I had to put me first and know that I deserve better and should not go through this.
Try saying positive affirmations to yourself or journeling. Simply do what works for you because doing that for me help me to gain self-respect that I don't want to go through this and that it is time to walk away. I'm not saying its easy, or maybe work fast but try working on yourself not only to distract yourself, but to overcome this situation so that the cycle can be broken and so that you can move on. Not to a next relationship but with your life. Hope you understand.