My boyfriend ended our relationship because he didn’t want me involved in his problems. He’s been struggling with money at home and working so much to save that we couldn’t spend time together or go on dates. He told me he’s tired of life and wants to handle things on his own — his pride won’t let him ask for help. He even said I should choose myself first and find someone who can provide for my needs. Knowing all this, I’m worried he might be depressed. Even though we’ve broken up, I’m tempted to text him to check if he’s okay.
Last updated on:2025-09-15T01:35:03+05:30
Comments (13)
you’re caught between concern and old attachment, i’ve seen people do that and it rarely changes anything, it just stirs up more feelings.
sitting on my phone thinking the same thing, just wanting to know he was breathing, it’s hard to let go when you care that much.
I feel you. I just want to know how he is doing rn, but yeah maybe its best to give him the space he wants. That would give him time to think clearly and handle problems on his own.
i checked on mine too, ended up just digging my own grave. it felt like i was waiting for him to crumble so i could feel something, i hated myself for it later.
Omg I feel sorry for you. :(
I was thinking of checking on him today but then I thought, "after that, what now? Will that make him feel better?" It's like I'm just fooling myself and making it hard for me to let go and move on.
as the previous one said the most caring thing to do for him is to give him space if he needs to, i know its hard ,i been there and i reached out ,he was not happy about so i made him feel worse,he didnt feel respected and made him feel that i didnt care for him. and he said exactly the same thing that he wanted to handle things alone. So try to sit with your feelings instead i think it will make you both heal:)
Indeed. He was pushing me away for weeks already and I think he got tired of me trying to meddle or help him. I felt bad cause I always insisted on aiding him financially, I didn't know that it would hurt him and make him feel insecure of himself. I sincerely hope that both of us will heal separately, and I really hope that things will work out for him eventually.
If he has friends and family around him to support him, then he will be okay. Unfortunately, you need to do what he asked. He wants to handle his problems alone, so you need to let him. Sometimes people we love dont want help, and you have to wait for them to be ready to recieve it before you can give it. If youre worried something scary might happen, reach out to his close friends or family about your concerns so they can check in, and then give him the space he asked for. If he needs to figure things out on his own right now, then you checking on him will not help. Im sorry, its so hard to be in a situation where you want to help someone you love but they dont want you to.
He is right about one thing, you shoukd chose yourself first. You dont need to find someone else right now, but you should focus on your life and what you need right now, and let him focus on his.
@QuickFox697 thanks for the advice. It hurts cause I care for him too much, but Ill do my best not to contact him.
@FrostFox741 Let him have the space he needs, support and love him from afar. If you two are meant to reunite then he will come back when he feels ready. And if he doesn't it has nothing to do with love, and just what he feels like he can provide vs what he knows you deserve.
dont!
🥲