Been a month since we broke up. And i kept chasing him. After 3 days of no contact , i texted him again today. I needed answers. He responded to me coldly as before.
I asked why is he so cold, this isnt the sweet person i was in love with. He was mad, saying i need to stop saying sweet stuff, we're over and he doesn't want me anymore. He wasn't just an avoidant, everytime we argue he would always shifted the blame on me, calling me out insecure, didn't trust him, sensitive etc. He got physical when he pulled my hair 3 months ago after i asked for a breakup, he threatened to k*ll himself so i stayed, i was scared. A month ago, we argued and pinned me down on the bed and slapped me so hard on the face. He then broke up with me and left.
Back to yesterday, i asked why did he leave me. He still avoid to answer it by saying "u know why". He said me not giving him space is disrespectful, I should not talk to him. I asked why did he unblocked me last week, i said because i told him i wna be his friend still, and he was also worried. But when i texted, he was so cold and dry. I just dont understand.
He said he knew he's an as*hole, he knew what he did was wrong. But to him what he did was correct. He still insisted i was the problem. It cleared out my mind for a while but now im back to feeling empty and confused. What should i do... Please help. Why is it so hard for me to move on.
Last updated on:2025-09-16T04:58:10+05:30
Comments (9)
you wanted answers, he said “u know why”, classic dodge. he used threats and violence to control, then blamed you. that confusion is why moving on feels impossible, you kept trying to fix what he broke.
i kept staring at my phone hoping for the old sweet texts i get why you asked him why. if you feel unsafe at all tell someone you trust or call local emergency services and if you need a helpline i can look one up for your country. you didn’t deserve being pinned or hit.
yes you definitely need to bring the love back to yourself. You deserve to be loved and put first always. Stay strong and do the work on yourself and you will then believe that you was always enough and how dare he treat you that way.
i checked his profile like a junkie too pressed follow then deleted it felt like a dumb loop. when he shoved me and slapped me i froze i remember thinking how fast everything turned violent and then he acted like i caused it. fuck that.
I'm so sorry. Certainly was not your fault.
I still eff up. I still eff up but I'm coming around.
So try 1 day then 2. Then, try 4. And try to understand he's under a mask. And he's so effed up about himself that he can't even let you in. And that you are actually everything he cannot be. You are stronger as vulnerable. But the ONLY ONLY ONLY thing he will ever feel though is your absence. And he won't even believe you'll stay gone.
I have been messed with by the same type. for years. push/pull. He'd even gaslight me. So, I let it fuel my desire to prove to myself he was the problem. I'm still working on this project but eventually... It's called Manipulite. You feed it screenshots or give it your end of the incident and it lets you know if it reads any manipulation of gaslighting. It keeps track too. Anyway, it's helped a ton.
It's so hard, I know. To keep from asking him why and from figuring out the answers to your whys. I'm the same way. I felt like if I could just figure it out. Then I could move on. But you have to draw a boundary somewhere. If it isn't a slap? I know you want to keep him in your life. Totally. It's almost humiliating.
I have my answers. And it's still wasnt enough.
Thank you i will do it. I need to respect myself and shift the love im giving to him to myself. Im too tired