My avoidant ex broke up with me bc she didn't have feelings for me back then. We broke up 5 months ago we didnt see each other all summer but now we are back from school and the feeling is so strong. She is gorgeous i just cant stop thinking about her. I glowed up too but she was always beautiful she cant glow up even more if you know what i mean. I see that she is putting more effort to look good at school and i dont know if she is having feelings for somebody else. i just wanna reach out so bad. i miss her a lot. i wanna talk things out. i dont understand why she broke up with me when she was the one saying how much she loves me. i just wanna hear from her that she doesn't love me anymore and she lied to me.
Last updated on:2025-09-22T01:30:56+05:30
Comments (11)
do you think you want her to explain it, or do you want her back? sometimes those get tangled up.
when i was in that place i had to remind myself reaching out usually just ripped the wound open again. sitting with the missing sucks but it passed slower when i texted.
i feel this so much. my ex swore up and down he loved me then left like it meant nothing. the confusion after is brutal, your brain won’t stop looping the why.
avoidants tend to shut down and run away from their feelings because accountability feels like a death of their perfect image of themselves, orrr they are scared to feel their feelings and don't know how to deal with them.
they will never change 1 year or 5. some work on themselves to actively make it work with their loved ones, but MOST never ever ever change.
Ask yourself, have you changed? If you are still desperate (don't take this the wrong way, I am an anxious attachment too) to get the closure, to fix it, to talk, to connect....they haven't changed either.
they will either deny, or apologize love bomb and leave you AGAIN.
FOCUS ON YOURSELF
If it's meant to be, they will find their way back to you. If you reach out, then they know they have the upper hand. I would recommend maintaining no contact. It's really helped me.
it KILLS me i miss them so bad. i miss our friendship more that other things. she was the only person that comforted me i cant leave without her and i was that person for her too
@QuinFlake48 I understand. It killed me too in the beginning, but my Dr put me on depression meds and it helped me so much. It's given me the strength to keep going, even though it still hurts. My anger at him also keeps me from wanting to contact him. He's dead to me and I never want to see him again.
@QuinFlake48 I also thought I was his person too, but now I'm not and there's nothing I can do about it but move on. Maybe the breakup was God's way of telling me that he wasn't the right person for me.
mine did too, and she's absolutely grounded that she doesn't love me anymore. But dammit, sometimes you just gotta grit your teeth, and clench your fists, it's hard but ask her out again. I really hope to do the same too, I'm trusting in God's timing this time around
Man how do i aske her out. I dont recognise her at all not even her character. we dont look at each other anymore at the corridor how can i ask her out. i think she is over me but im really not
@QuinFlake48 okay how bout this? Try running into her one day(Not literally lol), and just a simple hey, if she doesn't respond, then you also gotta leave it at that. if she does however, just tell her you'd like to catch up with her over coffee or dinner, after that I'm sure you'd know what to do then. Before all that, pray tho, cause boy it ain't easy😭🙏