I’ve been running into my ex lately, repeatedly... we look straight into each other’s eyes, but no one dares to get closer. His birthday will be on October 5th, and I had thought about congratulating him in person... because I miss him. Today, I really wished he would come up to me, no matter how, just that he did... I haven’t been able to get him out of my mind.
Today, I got a message from a mutual friend who told me he had news about my ex.
At first, I hesitated to listen, but I decided to go ahead. My friend told me that my ex approached him completely drunk and smelling of substances. He said my ex told him his side of the story... that I had been toxic, manipulative, abusive... and even worse things.
I was shocked. I didn’t know my ex had fallen into drugs, it’s just... wow.
I told my side of the story to my friend, giving him context about certain things, and he told me not to worry. He said that although he was also my ex’s friend, he already knew how he was, and that he wasn’t mentally well. I confessed that I felt guilty, but he told me not to feel that way. He reminded me that, although I wasn’t a perfect girlfriend, everyone saw how much I tried, and besides, if he’s doing drugs now, that was his own choice, not something I forced him into.
He also told me that everyone already knew about our relationship problems beforehand, since my ex made sure to tell them way before I did. And still, his friends felt disgusted by him and his actions, so they distanced themselves from him and took my side... ironically, they were even planning to report him on my behalf—his own friends! The same ones who used to hate me, LOL. It makes me feel so much better to know they don’t hate me. Honestly, I was afraid of running into them and that they’d think terrible things about me, but even the guy who was the most loyal to my ex turned his back on him after finding out what happened between us!
I feel like that was what I needed. My ex also started insulting my family while he was drunk. I think I needed to trust that he wasn’t the person he promised to be, in order to finally let him go...
I feel bad for him, I honestly hope he can recover from wherever he’s gotten himself into, but the truth is that he’s no longer part of my life, and he shouldn’t matter to me anymore.
Last updated on:2025-09-23T10:12:03+05:30
Comments (3)
reading this hit hard… when you see him now, does it still stir up that old longing, or are you starting to feel more detached?
when i start feeling guilty over stuff like this, i remind myself: their choices are theirs, not mine. that little shift usually helps me breathe easier.
i went through something like this too. my ex spread lies about me after we broke up and it messed with my head. hearing the truth from others was the only thing that set me free. ❤️