I'm really f...ed up right now. I realised that she's an avoidant and because she's dealt me a blindsided breakup and post breakup she's been really social (this is not her usual personality) and making new friends. Though I'll see her everyday at the University (we're classmates), she's actually gone. Now, I kept thinking that since we're classmates and since the relationship was a long one (3years), she'll come around. it's been 2 months since the breakup. I broke NC and called her on 17th, she said that she wants us both to move on and when I asked about maybe a year later, would she date me? she said can't say anything about her mental state later. It was a nice call, we talked for 1 hour. But then she was quite convinced that she felt that there was someone else for her.
Last updated on:2025-10-01T07:21:39+05:30
Comments (6)
mines avoidant and did something similar. she will talk to my best friend and tell him that she feels a void without me and heart broken then I break no contact and she’s ignoring all my messages. she said she’s not a future teller so she doesn’t know what the future holds for us but for right now “idk probably not” then when I asked if she still loves me said “I don’t know” but she was also over whelmed by my anxious attachment rage messages. I think avoidants can’t process things so they project a lot. and I think at the end of the day they don’t know what they want at all ever
have you thought about setting some boundaries at uni so you can see her without it completely triggering old feelings?
Could you please elaborate?
sounds like you’re holding onto hope, which is natural. i found journaling and slowly rebuilding routines helped me sit with the pain without acting on it.
ugh i’ve been there 😞 broke up and kept hoping he’d come back, even after NC. seeing them move on hits different… it’s brutal but it’s part of healing
mine is avoidant she even knows its tells me runs from everyone at some point did it to me at 3 months then came back after 2 weeks. now at 9 months broke me to pieces by leaving me 3 days after finally saying I love you. been broke up 2 months and nc for now 23 days I think.. they will bury feeling and distract so they feel nothing an dearth onto someone to not feel regret or sadness.... it hurts so bad