I feel like I’m on the edge of losing my girlfriend and the truth is I don’t really know what I want or what I’m supposed to do. Part of me feels strangely relieved even though we’re only on a temporary break for now.
We’ve been in a long-distance relationship for the past four months. We started seeing each other in January though it wasn’t official or exclusive at first. Even then there was distance me living in LA her in Paris where she was studying. She’s originally from USA and thankfully we managed to visit each other quite often. We’d spend a few days together every couple of weeks and it worked surprisingly well.
But in July she returned to USA after graduating. Soon she’ll be working in Brussels for a major company possibly clocking 50-hour workweeks. Meanwhile I’m in my graduate year juggling a demanding schedule and a side job to support myself. I don’t mind the workload but over time we started drifting apart.
At first I was hopeful. I looked forward to what we were building. But our connection became mostly texting and I found myself more focused on my life offline. It got harder to maintain the relationship.
And then my best friend and I started growing closer. I’ve had feelings for her in the past but I buried them because of our friendship. Now she lives nearby and we’ve been spending more time together forming a bond that feels unique and comforting especially during a time when I’m emotionally vulnerable and craving connection.
I don’t blame myself for developing feelings. It’s natural when you grow close to someone. But I know it would be wrong to act on them intentionally.
Still I feel conflicted. I wonder if this is all because of the distance. Am I falling out of love with my girlfriend? Or is it just the absence of physical closeness the lack of sensory connection that makes love feel distant?
We’ve talked about it. We’ve communicated well and for a moment it brought us closer. But it didn’t fix the deeper issues.
I thought maybe things would feel clearer once we saw each other again in person. But right now I’m filled with questions and guilt. My girlfriend deserves better than this confusion. And I keep asking myself if love is real shouldn’t it be strong enough to transcend distance?
Did I not truly love her? Or is this just what happens when love is reduced to memory and words on a screen?
I knw I can do better. I know I should. But I’m still trying to figure out how.
Last updated on:2025-10-07T06:58:02+05:30
Comments (3)
do you think you’re holding on because of what you had, or because of what you wish it still was?
try not to label every emotion right now. confusion, guilt, even relief — they can all exist together. sometimes it helps to stop trying to “fix” it and just watch what your heart settles on when things go quiet.
long distance slowly turned into this quiet kind of emptiness, and then i found comfort somewhere else. it didn’t mean i didn’t care about my ex it’s just that sometimes love fades in silence, not in fights. it hurts, but i get this.