My avoidant left me 4weeks ago. Its been 25 days no contact. Last night i went out for Timeleft dinner, just to go out and come out of my comfort zone, talk to other people, have fun. I enjoyed it a lot and the company was nice. one of the guys asked me out today "for lunch or coffee and to continue the conversation". Im chuffed and
it's nice but just right now I got really sad thinking of my ex. I dont want to date, i just dont want to sit at home. Meeting other people is nice. I want to go but I feel like that will be it. what would you do?
Last updated on:2025-10-13T05:53:02+05:30
Comments (6)
the sadness came from missing him, or from feeling guilty for letting yourself enjoy something again?
honestly? i’d go. not as a “date” but as a small act of rejoining the world. just tell yourself it’s lunch, not a commitment. you deserve to feel human again.
when my avoidant ex left, i tried going out too, just to feel normal again. it felt nice but then this sudden wave of sadness hit. it’s like your heart remembers even when your mind tries to move.
the weird thing is we feel that we are “cheating” when we start moving on. I think is because we still have hope. but if the other person already moved on why not us too?
I would go. I listen to a really good podcast of a therapist and he said after his divorce he made a pact with himself to always say yes to anything that got him outta the house because being alone with your thoughts is a way of killing youreelf without actually killing yourself. so I been saying yes to anything. it doesn’t help completely but it gets me out of my head even for a little
nice, thank you Andrew. that's what ive been trying to do but the way you said it convince me. Thank you.