I’ve only been in one relationship in my life and I truly loved my ex. I was young back then and developed an anxious attachment to him. When he was going through one of the hardest times in his life I became so consumed by the fear of losing him that I wasn’t really present for him emotionally. That fear ended up pushing us apart and we eventually broke up.
Now four years later we still talk from time to time. But every time we do he reminds me that he doesn’t want anything romantic with me anymore. The thing is I’ve grown and changed a lot since then but because he’s no longer part of my life he hasn’t seen that growth. He says I never made an effort or proved anything over these past four years.
And yet every time I let him back into my life I end up hurting all over again. I don’t understand why he keeps coming back if he’s so certain he doesn’t want anything with me.
Do you have any advice? I’m feeling really confused and emotionally stuck.
Last updated on:2025-10-14T18:59:11+05:30
Comments (4)
He keep coming back to you because he is sure that you will give him attention. You should not give him this courage and certainty. Even if it is difficult, rest assured that doing this will be good for you.
when he comes back into your life, what usually triggers you to let him in again? trying to see the pattern might help you feel less stuck.
it helped me to really step back and stop letting him back in, even just for talks. growth doesn’t need his approval, it’s for you, not him.
i had this ex i loved so much and kept trying to prove i’d changed, but it just kept reopening old wounds. it’s exhausting, i feel you 💔