Hey there. I'm trying this app out because I want to let go of these feelings I have. I'm a 24 year old guy, who is getting out of an 8 year relationship with a girl. We met in highschool, fell in love and have been together since. It's all I know now. and she cheated on me...bad. It's left me feeling so defeated, and devastated. We lived together, and now she's back at her mom's house, and I have to cover all of our bills alone. I'm worried I'm going to lose everything all at once, and she gets to have a fresh start, with a new guy, and a new plan. She seems.... unremorseful, and with no regrets. I don't know how I'm supposed to overcome these feelings of grief and loss. I want her in my life so badly, but I had to go no contact because she continued to violate my boundaries, even though I was respecting hers. I know she's not good for me, and I know if I break it will tell her that cheating on me is okay behavior, when it's not. But the thoughts of her being with someone else kill me every single day, and I wake up,live, and sleep so miserably that it's hard to even see the point. I need help, and support and I don't know what to do with my life now. Everything seems so hard,and like I'll never be able to get past this. It's been almost 4 days since no contact, and she hasn't learned a thing. I know it's naive to expect her to miss me.....but I want her to so badly. I know that even if she reached out, that it's not possible for me to trust her anymore, but I also can't deny how hard it would be to tell her no. Help me be strong, because I can't do this alone
Last updated on:2025-10-16T21:12:22+05:30
Comments (4)
how are you handling your days right now? like when the missing hits do you distract yourself or just let it crash through you?
It varies. I've started to have extremely vivid dreams about her where everything feels okay, and I get lost in a comfortable lie. When I wake up and realize what my world actually is...it's like I'm restarting the grief all over again. Some hours I don't know what to do with myself, some hours I am able to distract, and sometimes I just feel it. My therapist advised me not to fight the feelings, and try to allow myself to feel them in a kind way towards myself because one way or another my body and my mind need to process everything anyways or I'll never get better. Sometimes I can feel the delusion that she'll come back fade, but sometimes it gets stronger. Things right now are definitely all over the place and for the most part it's not great honestly.
you’re already doing the hardest thing staying no contact even when every part of you wants to reach out. it’s okay to miss her and still know she’s not good for you. what helped me was focusing on one thing each day that wasn’t about her a small meal a walk a show something that reminded me i still exist outside that relationship.
i was in almost the same spot last year. she cheated and i felt like my entire identity just cracked. it’s brutal when the person you built your world around just walks away like it’s nothing. it really does feel like losing everything but i swear little by little you start finding pieces of yourself again that you forgot even existed.