I'm traumatized after him

i promise I'm not overreacting when I say I'm traumatized, this is a longer story but if you like kinda juicy storys then you'll like this.

my ex and I we were really happy but he always got tired and couldn't really charge. we still live at home, and we thought maybe it was because he couldn't relaxe at his own house and we were together 24/7 anyways so we decided to move in together. My parents helped make a little kitchen for us and he moved in. It didn't take long before he was basically confined in our bed. I took care of him, made him food etc. I was pretty sure he had adhd and maybe that was a reason that he was so tired, so he went to get diagnosed, but the doctor couldn't make sense of it. He was send in for a brain scan, maybe he had epilepsy. He had a brain tumor... he was scheduled for an operation a month later. The day came and he got the operation, it went good but a few hours later he had a stroke as a side effect of the operation. he couldn't walk, and was high on morphine for a week. I was there for him, I traveled an hour each way just to see him for an hour. it was unbearable seeing him in this state, he was in so much pain in the first week too, but he was always so happy to see me. I got videoes from his parents of him telling them how much he loved me, how amazing I was and how wild it was that I stuck by his side through all of this. after a few weeks he came home, he still couldn't walk probably but it was getting better. His Emotions were all over the place, up and down. He had a very hard time understanding my needs (like i was too tired to go to his family with him), and calling me lazy when I was tired, he started to do the push and pull. after 1 month he wanted a break to figure out his emotions, i was heartbroken, but 5 days later we were back together. it went well for the first week or so before he started to pull from me again. he always wanted to do things with me, take me with him to his family, you know that stuff, but suddenly he would rather do those things on his own. 2 months after his operation he broke up with me. we kept contact on and off, it seemed like he liked having me to talk to but got mad if I demanded to much of him. sometimes he would start talking about getting back together but pulling it back as soon as it got real. His reason to break up with me was that he "didn't love me romantically anymore" but he said later on "one thing I know is, that i will always love you as a person" yuck!! the thing that made me stick no contact was after he started talking about getting back together and kept pushing it after I rejected it, I said that he could think about it for a few days. The same weekend he talked about a girl he knew he could get and described in detail what he would do to her. After a few days, he said he still wanted to meet up and talk about getting back together. the day after, I tried figuring out when we could meet, but then it got too much for him and he backed out and ghosted me 💀 I think I'm over him as a person but the memories of the weeks at the hospital still sits with me. I get flash backs regularly, It gets hard to breathe, my heart starts pounding and I start to shake. I'm going to a therapist and she's helped alot with everything that happend after the operation but I think I need to talk more about the weeks surrounding the operation. I cant see shows about hospital, without feeling physically sick. it just sits like a heavy stone in my chest constantly. I'm over the dude he is now but that time in the hospital was the scariest time of my life. it's about 3 months since the breakup and 5 months since the operation. oh and did I mention that I'm 16 and he's 18?

Last updated on:2025-10-17T19:16:08+05:30