1st of this month was his birthday. I thought a lot about that day. When I went no contact I had made a solid decision I'd break it on his birthday and unblock him. The days leading up to his birthday, I thought about that decision a lot. I came to the conclusion that I'd break no contact, wish him a simple happy birthday and expect 3 reactions. One was silence, the second was a simple thank you and the third was perhaps a longer conversation. Mentally, I was at peace with whichever outcome. I had also mentally noted that me breaking contact was not going to interfere with my general healing process and I labelled that day as a "cheat day". His birthday came, I texted him in the evening just a simple " happy birthday (his name)". At this point I was panicking and everything, planning is one thing and executing the plan is another thing. He responded "Hi (my name)! Thanks. After about 10 mins he sent a follow up message asking how I have been and how my business was doing. We are in the same profession and I had just started my business when I went no contact. So we spent the next few days catching up and everything. He even confessed to having seeing me somewhere but he figured I didn't want to talk to him so he just let me be. Anyway, last week on Wednesday something tragic happened, someone he looked up to so much passed away unexpectedly and I knew how much that would affect him. I reached out to see how he was doing and condole with him a little. As someone who has experienced my share of grief this year, I know how draining that period is, so after the condolences message I decided to step back and let him grieve in peace. However, I haven't heard from him since then; today marks a week since we last talked. So I guess we are back to no contact or something.
However, the past one week has taught me a lot; I think I am healed. Him not reaching out hasn't bothered me so much. I mean I went for 4 months without talking to him, one week looks like child play lol!
Last updated on:2025-10-24T12:07:28+05:30
Comments (6)
how did it feel inside, letting him grieve without jumping back in? did it change how you view your own attachment?
It did. I realized that I am more calm and grounded now. Previously, I was operating on chaos and fear of losing him
you’ve really leveled up in your healing. keeping boundaries while showing kindness is such a strong move. your peace matters most
Thank you
i broke no contact for my ex’s birthday too. it’s wild how even small interactions can stir old feelings, but seeing yourself handle it calmly? HUGE win
I totally agree! I'm glad I broke nc because I am not the same person I was 4 months ago!