I'm on day 111 and these two days it really hit my heart like it was a fresh breakup 20 days ago was my birthday and he didn't contact , and 3 days ago he was in my colleage with his friends for an after graduating event and when I heared that they will come on that day I looked my best and dressed really good to make him notice that I'm still okay and it didn't affect my life but I wore a hat all the time even in shady place and couldn't raise my head either ( I'm not sure if he even recugnize me cause my face almost covered with the big hat ) all I was thinking that he would be ashamed as a man and should be scared to see me but turns on it was me that were scared to meet with his eyes and tear up , I had a exam afterward and I ended up in 13 min just to leave the first in class so my colleuges will think that I ran to meet him like they always saw me do for the past year before he graduated , and I was walking but running with my hat on and face down just in case he still in collage I stopped running when I entered my room like hell I'm save again
btw I deleted this app like a week ago thinking I was over him but here I am crying myself to sleep just because of the idea he might have saw me
Last updated on:2025-10-27T11:44:03+05:30
Comments (3)
do you think part of you still wants him to see how well you’re doing, or were you hoping he’d notice you and reach out?
you don’t have to feel bad for that reaction. it’s part of healing. seeing them again reopens tiny wounds you thought were gone. what helps me is reminding myself that a setback doesn’t mean i’m starting over—it’s just my heart remembering what it survived
i remember being months into no contact and thinking i was fine, then suddenly seeing him at our old hangout spot wrecked me. i did the same thing—dressed up, acted cool, but inside i was shaking. it’s crazy how the body still reacts like it’s day one sometimes