Failed and sent him texts. He said I was still the love of his life and he'd come see me today, but he cancelled at last minute saying it was a bad idea (which he always does). He then told me we couldn't be together ever again. All I can do is let go, I don't even understand why I keep chasing after a man who spent 1 year disrespecting me and being violent and abusive, I just can't stop clinging into it despite hating him. I either feel pure hatred or terrible sadness, it's an unbreakable cycle or feeling bad all day long and it's only been a week since the break up
Last updated on:2025-10-28T18:06:45+05:30
Comments (6)
I agree with the people here, write down that list and consult it often, write down all the bad things and all the things you don't want in a partner
can i ask — what part of him are you still holding onto? like, the person he was at the start, or the hope that he’ll finally change?
a bit of both tbh, cause the person he showed me at the start was definitely fake but he was my first bf and first everything and he made me feel like I'll never find that kind of love again, so even knowing he won't change I'm chasing after the familiarity of being with him
what helped me was writing down every awful thing he did — every time he disrespected or hurt me. whenever i wanted to reach out, i’d read that list. it reminded me why letting go wasn’t weakness, it was survival.
i remember being in that same cycle — hating him for what he did but still craving the crumbs of comfort he used to give. it’s wild how your brain keeps chasing the person who caused the pain. it took me months to realize that wasn’t love anymore, it was trauma keeping me stuck.
you just need to touch grass and realise all those awful thinhs and then realise the good things were like 20%