I think I’m finally entering the phase of caring for him from a distance. I’m starting to accept that what he felt for me was never love just lust. That feeling I had as a teenager of being truly seen was just an illusion. Deep down I probably knew it all along. But sometimes we choose not to believe the truth simply because it hurts too much. We ignore the signs and hold onto hope even when it defies logic.
The reality is he’s shallow morally questionable and not someone I’d naturally be drawn to. But back then I felt invisible unheard unnoticed. So when he gave me attention it lit something up inside me. It made me feel valued even if it wasn’t real. That fleeting validation became addictive and for the past 25 years I’ve chased that feeling.
Every time the attention faded it left me in a deep emotional low. It’s been a cycle I’ve struggled to break. Now the recent communication has faded again and I’m left wondering if this time I can finally let go for good. Let’s see if I can hold onto that distance for the rest of my life.
Last updated on:2025-10-28T21:34:02+05:30
Comments (3)
when you say “recent communication,” do you think part of you was still hoping he’d changed?
this part hurts the most realizing it was never love, just attention. i started healing when i stopped chasing closure from them and started giving that care back to myself instead.
i had someone like that too who made me feel seen for the first time and then disappeared like it meant nothing. that kind of validation hits deep when you’ve felt invisible for so long.