Thanks in advance to anyone who actually reads all of this
so I have this one friend who stayed friends with me after the breakup( she always hated him anyways). so me and her were in this friend group, all of whom I no longer speak to. I was willing to be civil with them and I told them that but they just resorted to hating me now. so my friend, shes still with me but she's also still friends with the girls that are in the friend group who I no longer speak to. now I've dealt with them in the past already because this friend, let's call her C, has a habit or staying friends with people even if they do something bad towards me or someone else she's friends with. which over time I got used to, she just doesn't want any drama directly related to her, I don't blame her for that. but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bug me a little bit. like I understand you want no drama, but how could you still be friends with someone after certain things they'd do to me? But anyways, so this friend, particularly one girl in it, C had always had this kind of obsession with her. For example, in middle school before they were friends, C would follow her around but not say anything to her which actually freaked the girl out a lot at the time. but basically, after we all became friends, I had begun to realize how this girl, calling her A, actually was. like she's the very clingy type, but not in a good way at all and
it became even worse after she got a boyfriend. she would always initiate a lot of physical contact, which typically I'm fine with, but the way she would do it made me uncomfortable and honestly annoyed. so to say it simply, A constantly needs someone around her because she has a very low self esteem( and I'm not just saying that, she had told me so when we were still friends and frankly it was quite obvious). so A would often use people, me and C included because she just needed someone with her. and I quickly got tired of it because I noticed right away how she wa using me because in any other environment with. etest of the group, I kind of be and invisible to her, same for C. so basically, yesterday I get a text from C saying she's going to be sitting with A at lunch tomorrow instead of with me and a few others.
so basically what I'm struggling with rn, is that I really want to talk to C about this and make her realize how toxic this is. But the thing is we've had this conversation before, and she told me that's he realized that A is using her but she always just says she doesn't mind it.
so I don't know, it just makes me frustrated. and honestly after I graduate, I just keep thinking that I really do want to start completely fresh with who I'm friends with. Because the longer I'm hanging around C this year, the more complicated it gets.
if anyone relates to any part of this at all, how are you getting through it?
Last updated on:2025-10-30T07:14:21+05:30
Comments (6)
do you think part of why you’re holding on is because she’s one of the few people who stayed after your breakup? like, maybe you’d let go if you didn’t feel so alone right now?
it's not that I feel alone, I honestly feel a lot better than I ever have. but I mean yes, she is the only one who stayed and was willing to listen during and after the breakup, so because of that I don't want to just break off from her because I'm still grateful for her. but like there's been so many times where she's hurt me that I don't think she even realizes so I'm just stuck.
sometimes the best thing is to quietly step back. not out of anger, but out of self-respect. you don’t have to convince her to see what you already know. just protect your peace
yeah I planned to do that when we start college, because I doubt any of them will be going to the college I'm planning to attend. but C has told me quite a few times that she wants to keep contact after school and back then I agreed. but it's not that she was ever a bad friend, I enjoy hanging out with her but the things she does that I don't like just have been increasing for a while. So I don't know really what to do besides to just let life take it's course. but also me and her, we have never really texted each other a lot, like we used to every few days but recently we only talk at school. which since the breakup, I've stopped being the one to text first( because I was always that person with any friend I have ever had unless they texted first usually about homework or something similar) and honestly I've been a lot more at peace. but also at the same time I've kind of confirmed the thoughts I've been thinking for a while, which is that the friends that even I have now, I'm not as close to them as id want to be, being that they never reach out first to talk. But that's always been a pattern with all the friends that I've had and have. maybe it's because I've never been choosing the right people( which yes that's true, I know that now) or if it's just something to do with me. I don't know.
my best friend stayed cool with people who made my life hell. it used to make me question if i meant anything to her. i learned it’s not about loyalty for some people, it’s about comfort
yeah I get that. I think that describes her perfectly.