127 days without him and contact with about 6 weeks deep into trauma therapy but today would have been our 4 year wedding anniversary and my heart is heavy. I don’t miss the way he treated me or the lies or the the abuse but I miss the emotional connection, the intimacy and some of the small quirks he had. I take it day by day and tried to turn this into a positive day by calling off work as a mental health day, I went and bought myself a gaming system since I had to sell the ones I had while with him to cover money since he wouldn’t help financially. I ate Chik Fila without apology because he never wanted to take me there and I spent some time meditating but the sadness is still here. I also shot my therapist a message for moral support. He is already in a new relationship even though we are still legally married but I’m sitting here doing the work and feeling the feelings in waves. I know I will probably break down in tears when my kids go to sleep here soon but I did it.. I almost am done with this day and a new experience. Here is to healing and taking a deep breath <3
Last updated on:2025-10-31T06:04:02+05:30
Comments (4)
that part about missing the connection hit me… do you think it’s the person you miss, or the feeling of being seen and safe by someone?
you are amazing I know what it’s like to be with a narcissist and the trauma bond they create luckily he wasn’t my husband and the relationship wasn’t as long but severing the trauma bond is excruciating for me still can’t imagine what u are going. through. u are magnificent powerful and inspire me if u can still fight everyday to regain your love of life after such a long relationship with a narcissist it give me hope as well. know there is someone out there who u are helping as well with sharing your story thank you lots of love 🫶
you’re actually handling it in the best way possible. feeling the sadness instead of running from it, doing small things for yourself, reaching out when it gets heavy. that’s the real healing stuff. it’s okay that it still hurts — that means you cared deeply.
my ex moved on while i was still picking up the pieces too. i remember our anniversary hitting and it felt like the air got heavier. you’re doing what i couldn’t back then choosing yourself through the ache. proud of you for that