I’ve blocked him everywhere I possibly can. I’ve blocked him on TikTok, instagram, Spotify, messages, and I tried to block him on Reddit but his account kept popping up so I deleted my whole account. I didn’t care for it I didn’t really use Reddit. I even deleted my Twitter account because I know he uses that app the most. He uses the same username for everything so it’s not hard to find him and block him. For some reason I find myself freaking out that somehow I’ve unblocked him on accident or something so I go and check to make sure he’s blocked and it calms my nerves. I don’t wanna see anything he’s posting about out of fear I’ll see something I don’t wanna see or see him in general because it makes my heart race and makes my anxiety start acting up. I have written down reminders that he’s blocked and that I’m safe now. I wonder why. I wonder why my body and nervous system reacts this way. Lately it’s been harder for me. The bad memories are overpowering the good and even the good memories are starting to turn bad. I’m in constant anxiety and fear I might accidentally come across an account. The couple times I’ve snooped I always see something that hurt me. Maybe that could be it idk but I’m so tired of it all. All I do is cry and think of the worst. But I do miss him sometimes. What would you call all of this?
Last updated on:2025-11-04T09:15:04+05:30
Comments (5)
this sounds like your body’s still in survival mode. that panic when you think you might see him? totally normal after emotional damage. what helped me a little was writing “you’re safe now” every morning until my body believed it.
this sounds like your body’s still in survival mode. that panic when you think you might see him? totally normal after emotional damage. what helped me a little was writing “you’re safe now” every morning until my body believed it.
yes thank you :) I will remind myself to do that
i did the exact same thing blocked him on everything and still checked just to make sure. it’s like your brain’s trying to protect you but ends up keeping you on edge. i used to think i was crazy for doing it, but it’s really just trauma missing safety at the same time
I’m so glad you understand :) I thought I was going crazy