We met in university, developed crushes on each other. I didn’t want to date him because he was leaving the country in a few months. He was very persistent, I gave in. We had a really loving and emotionally intense summer together, he always wanted a relationship with me but I was scared. He convinced me to try long distance as he wanted to move back to my country in 6 months where we could ‘finally be together’. It took a lot for me trust and open upto him, we got so close, he told me we were ‘cosmic lovers’. In the first month of distance I told him I was finally certain about wanting a relationship— the information shocked him so much he cried. But the distance grew harder, I pulled away because he wasn’t showing me even the bare minimum anymore. He got me back, always told me he was scared of losing me. I gave him my whole heart and loved him unconditionally. I just kept waiting for clarity on if he was truly moving back. — Then, so suddenly, despite acting loving towards me and everything seeming fine, he stops replying. I wake up in the night, still seeing he hadn’t answered me, I ask him if everything is okay. He calls me at 4am and proceeds to coldly tell me that he’s not moving back and that I can’t be in his life anymore.
I was just in so much shock it was like a knife to my heart. I begged him to explain to me what changed. He said he loved me but couldn’t do it anymore. I begged him to stay, I said i’d fly to see him, I begged in ways i’ve never done before. We ended up talking things through and aggreeing we just needed some distance. I told him i’d give him as much distance as he needs. He thanked me and promised me things were fine now. He told me I was such a good partner it ‘made him feel inadequate’ and that he’s sorry he can’t promise me stability.
Now I don’t know what to do, i’ve accepted this as a breakup, because I can’t stay with someone who can hurt me so badly and having dragged me into this to then coldly cut me out, even though we were never official. I know deep down he’s not moving back. It’s over. I just feel so betrayed. The whole time I thought he was this stable, empathetic lover, my soulmate, but turns out he was just an avoidant, and pulled away when I dared to love him back unconditionally.
Last updated on:2025-11-06T14:16:37+05:30
Comments (12)
this sounds so painful. do you think part of you held onto the idea of who he could’ve been if he moved back, rather than who he was actually showing you at the end?
Yeah. Mourning an idealised idea of him, who he could become. I just have to remind myself of that
when someone shows you they can walk away like that, believe it. it’s brutal, but the fastest way i started to heal was cutting all contact, no “maybe later” hope, no checking if he changed. grief hurts like hell but it’s cleaner than being strung along. you deserve someone whose love doesn’t vanish the moment things get hard.
Thank you for your comment 🥺it’s true, just so hard to come into terms with it. Especially since he told me ‘he knows we’ll find each other again when the timing is right’ and that he couldn’t live without seeing me again. It’s a way for them to still have some control isn’t it?
mine told me we were “meant to be” too, then disappeared the second i stopped being the mysterious girl he had to chase. it’s wild how they paint this fairytale, get us to drop our walls, then run the minute it’s real. i remember staring at my phone, trying to make sense of how someone who called me their soulmate could just… switch off. you’re not crazy for feeling betrayed. it really does feel like emotional whiplash.
It feels like whiplash yes, if they truly loved us they could never be okay with hurting so suddenly like this. Did yours ever come back?
he is just a liar when he can’t reach to u at first this make a challenge for him to say any thing do any thing to be with them then when he got u oooohh the game is over so he changed and pull away how really want u will travel millions miles to u and it’s hard because u didn’t see his true face u love the image that u draw about his but he is just a player and ff liar
I feel stupid sometimes because I always see through people, he had me convinced he was this super empathetic person who would never hurt me, he always encouraged me to open up “so he had more of me to love” and he’d “go anywhere for me”. Why do they do this?
you'll be okay🥺 I hope I'll be okay too
but I belive it'll get better
hang in there
Thank you🥹idk why your words brought me to tears. We’ll be okay
@Devorra549
it's because we're both going through something hurtful and we have no one🥺
@shirooh feel free to share your story if you need 🥺❤️