Yesterday I had a looong talk with a friend about him and I, what happened, how I was back in August (almost crazy in pain) ...
It's not like I'm not mad at him anymore, and some part of me still craves for a reach out and an apology from him BUT, I'm quite better, maybe stronger... and welp, traumatized... Some thoughts come across mi mind from time to time like "I didn't ask for this, I didn't need to be tough or stronger, I'd like to be the person I was before all this shit happened" The truth is that I can't change anything so I'm in that point of the grief, trying to accept and let go while some part of me keeps an eye open in case he connects he single neuron cell and remembers he was a terrible person lmao.
But acid jokes aside, I'm ok, I'm better. I haven't cried since eeeeh mid October I believe. So yeah, I feel proud of myself and for not chasing him. He doesn't deserves my attention and pleas :)
Thanks for reading hehe
Last updated on:2025-11-07T11:55:36+05:30
Comments (6)
i love that you’re proud of yourself what’s one thing you’ve been doing lately that reminds you how strong you’ve gotten?
Not checking his chat anymore. I used to check it everyday waiting for a sign, because he didn't blocked me and that is confusing for a 0 contact state. But yeah, now I even forget about that. I try to focus on other things:)
it sounds like you’re really owning your healing. small victories like not crying for weeks? that’s HUGE. keep focusing on yourself, the rest is just noise.
Thank you so much!!!
i spent months hoping he’d randomly apologize too, replaying everything in my head. took me ages to realize not chasing him was actually my power
I'm in that way :)