hi! i left my 3 year toxic relationship 5 days ago, went completely no contact and i'm genuinely starting to feel better. i did have horrible nightmares about us arguing again, but then remembered he can't hurt me anymore, which is an oddly bittersweet thought to me. i got up, made myself feel pretty, hit the gym and have dinner plans with my girls later today. i still miss the routine of texting him, seeing his name light up my phone, wating until i'm off uni to go see him, but i remind myself that came with a price - the constant distress, feelings of not being enough, the walking on eggshells around him. i deserve to feel loved. i deserve to be enough for someone. and if that someone wasn't meant to be him, that's okay. someone will love me one day ❤️🩹
Last updated on:2025-11-07T12:07:02+05:30
Comments (5)
you mentioned feeling better after the gym and getting ready does focusing on those small wins help quiet the urge to reach out?
I was in a relationship for five years with a woman I truly loved, but she didn’t treat me well. She was careless, selfish, and emotionally absent. She used gaslighting, never made me feel safe or valued it almost felt like she wanted to keep me insecure on purpose. In the end, she developed feelings for another girl, and that’s how I found out. I broke up with her and only asked for an apology so I could move on, but as usual, she turned things around and made me feel guilty instead. I ended up blocking her. Then she went and told all our mutual friends about our relationship, only mentioning the moments when I got angry or said harsh things never the hours of gaslighting, exhaustion, and emotional confusion that led me there. She twisted the story to make me look like the problem. What’s worse is that she shared everything with our friends especially one of them who had a crush on her even though I had already told her I didn’t feel protected and wished she’d set boundaries. Now the three of them are inseparable. They talk about me all the time. Whenever I call my ex, she tells them everything, and whenever I talk to my old friends, they tell her. I feel trapped in a loop where anything I say or do eventually gets back to them like I can’t exist without being talked about.
you’re doing amazing. those nightmares fade, i promise. what helped me was replacing the texting him habit with messaging a friend or writing how i felt instead. just to keep that connection with me alive.
I love this for you and wish that some day I could experience that too. Im going through the same thing you did
when i finally left my toxic ex, i missed the routine more than the person. it’s wild how silence can feel both painful and freeing at the same time. proud of you for choosing yourself