So I just ended a relationship yesterday and I was in for 5 years with a guy who I have been on and off with. I kind of always knew that we weren't going to have a future together. We had never lived together and I never wanted to do to our differences in lifestyles. I just really enjoyed his company. however, He always had craziness or some kind of chaos going on in his personal life. whether it be him getting fired from a job his car breaking down and not having a car him with family issues, etc... The list goes on and on of what I've had to be there for his support. I guess I just eventually got tired. for the last 6 months it was starting to slowly fizzle out I was at my wit's end. I have been staying together with him because I felt bad that he had no support system He doesn't really have supportive family He doesn't have parents living or any really good friends that are trustworthy He has a lot of acquaintances instead. I got tired of playing the mom role. I feel so guilty but I am also relieved at the same time.
Last updated on:2025-11-08T07:52:28+05:30
Comments (4)
do you think part of why you stayed was because you felt responsible for keeping him afloat? or was it more the fear of what would happen if you stopped trying?
pretty much both...
feeling guilty and relieved at the same time is totally normal. it’s what happens when your heart and your boundaries finally agree. give yourself permission to rest from all that caretaking.
i stayed with someone for years because i couldn’t stand the thought of them being alone. he always had some new crisis and i was the one fixing it. that guilt after leaving? it’s real, but so is the peace that follows. you didn’t abandon him. you just stopped abandoning yourself.