I don't know what I was thinking but the lights were turning towards the direction

So I kept Going in the direction to Where He Was Even Though my Gut Kept Telling me Not to my Heart Kept telling me to go I got there and I seen him I gave him a rose He accepted the Rose but would not talk to me so I acknowledged that he didn't run talk to me and I Left and hurt so much I wish I didn't go I was so I listened to my stomach and not my heart I cried and was hurt but I understood he was in addition I am clean but what hurt most is my friend told.me.he was only their cuz he knew I would want him safe when I messaged my friend 2 days latter he told me he had some girl over so he told him to leave how dare him i was hurt lost cuz just a few days ago my friend told me he was crying to her about how much he missed me. does fetenol really make u that heartless where u can play u care tell people u love someone and the person u say u love comes and u deny her but call someone else