i feel so sad again

i got home from uni yesterday and started feeling horrible again. everything reminds me of him. i put away the items i specifically got from him, which helped. but it hurts knowing we would have seen eachother today and now i'm just exising at home, not knowing what to do with myself. i think i miss the routine more than him, because i know how much he hurt me, how horrible the relationship was for my mental health, but man would i do anything to get hugged one more time.. it feels so bittersweet. i know he wasn't "the one", but i do wish he was. god this feels empty