hi! i'm writing this as a way to vent and journal my healing journey. it's been the first week in three years in which we haven't spoken to each other. here's how that's going for me:
so i miss him a lot. or maybe i just miss the routine we created over the years. getting cut off from that so suddenly makes my days feel a bit empty. i find myself still hoping he will reach out, though i've known from the beginning that won't be the case
the very first 3 days were brutal. i could not stop crying as it dawned on me that it's over. it felt like i lost everything, like my world was ending. i am so extremely lucky to have my parents by my side for support, they were there for me to help me through my tears
after that it was time to go back to university, which felt like the last thing i needed, but was honestly a blessing. being forced into focusing on something other than my ex really helped me feel better. i allowed my thoughts to let go of him and tried to focus on my friends. that wasn't always successful, but it's progress, so i'll take it
i felt myself take a step back after returning home again. all his stuff was still in my room, reminding me of the loss, which killed my mood for the rest of the day. the next morning i hid some of them in cabinets since i'm not quite ready to throw all of the things out just yet. for now having them out of my sight feels right
i forced myself to go out shopping, bake, paint something, listen to a podcast. it helps drown out the obsessive thinking about what could have been and just lifts my mood overall
as the days go by, i find myself realising how truely toxic the relationship was, how unhappy it made me. i've faced the thought that our breakup was the best decision that could have been made, though it's a painful realisation to face
i'm just letting myself take it slow. trying to enjoy my own company and remember that this might just be one of the best things that has happened to me, even if it doesnt feel like it right now. what keeps me going is that it will keep getting better. the next week will feel even easier, so will the one after that, etc.. i know i've got this. we've all got this ❤️🩹
Last updated on:2025-11-11T16:39:29+05:30
Comments (6)
this was really honest. can i ask what’s been the hardest part to sit with? the silence, the memories, or the realisation that it was toxic?
for me its a mix of the silence and the memories. i miss the good times and it still feels weird to not have the option to text him. as much as i wish i could just reach out and make things okay again, i do realise that would come at the price of my mental health due to the toxic patterns - that's not something i'm willing to give up. it's hard out here, but i just have to power through these few weeks and soon it will all feel insignificant ❤️
you’re already doing everything right staying busy, moving his stuff, focusing on yourself. that’s literally how the healing starts. just keep choosing you, even on the days it stings.
the first week felt like withdrawal. i missed the routine, not him. it’s wild how silence can feel so loud, but you’re handling it beautifully
i'm proud of you!! keep going like this cause this is absolutely the path towards healing and it also includes downs!! you deserve to be happy and the most important thing is to love yourself wayyyyy more than you loved him 🫶🏻
you got this!! As the days go by it will become easier. this is not something you can forget but it will be something that helps to shape you into the person you are today❤️ he doesn’t deserve you. This breakup saved you and you will soon realize it.. I hope your doing better.