I broke up with my ex around June after a two-year relationship. It was messy I had discovered she was emotionally involved with a coworker and meeting up with him and that first month was absolute hell. To be fair we both had our share of arguments and issues throughout the relationship so I know I wasn’t entirely blameless either.
After the breakup I was emotionally wrecked. I couldn’t work barely ate and lost five pounds in the first week. I was desperate hoping we could fix things and get back together. But she didn’t want that she only wanted to remain friends. Around the second week after talking to my family and therapist I decided to cut contact and commit to no communication.
That lasted for about a week and a half until she left me a voicemail saying “I’m choosing myself but I still care about you. I love you and I miss you. Bye.” I don’t remember every word but hearing that nearly shattered my progress. Thankfully my mom was there for me and helped me stay grounded.
In early July she came over and we talked. One thing led to another and we decided to give it another shot. From then until late October we tried again. But eventually she told me her feelings weren’t romantic anymore they were rooted in comfort and nostalgia. She did say she saw a real change in me that I’d grown into someone different. But honestly I didn’t see any change in her. Still I kept working on myself trying to become the best version of me.
Strangely enough when she ended things for good I felt a sense of peace. Yes I was sad but I accepted her decision. I knew I couldn’t go down the same path again begging for another chance. Two weeks have passed since then and although she’s still reached out I told her I didn’t want to be friends and wished her well.
Thanks for reading this. To anyone going through something similar you can get through it. It takes time and healing isn’t linear. I was lucky to have my mom friends and therapist by my side. Progress happens every day even if it’s just a little.
Last updated on:2025-11-12T21:44:02+05:30
Comments (4)
when she reached out again after ending it, how did you stop yourself from getting pulled back in? i’m trying to figure that part out myself
thank you for posting this. it gives me hope.
you handled this with a lot of strength. i’ve learned that sometimes “choosing peace” really just means not reopening old doors, even when they knock again. keep doing what’s grounding you.
my ex did something similar said she “missed me” while still seeing the same coworker. that kind of push-pull messes with your head so bad. i’m glad you found peace though, that’s HUGE.