A couple of years ago we got really close before summer break. I genuinely liked her and thought she felt the same but I never got her number. When we returned I asked her out and she turned me down then started dating my friend the very next day. I was heartbroken. I’d grown so attached to her because our conversations were fun and easy and I didn’t know how to process what happened or whether I’d misread everything.
A few months later she broke up with my friend and asked me out. I said yes mostly because I was still hurting and confused not realizing it might not have been the healthiest choice. She ended things just three weeks later. Since then we’ve gone through cycles of talking again where I fall for her all over then try to move on all while she’s dated two other guys.
I can’t help but still like her. She’s not someone who gives off superficial or insincere vibes she’s chaotic but also kind and genuinely fun to be around. And yet I hate that I still have feelings for her. She talks to my friends all the time and even though I know it’s not fair I resent them for it. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way.
It’s a mess of emotions liking someone who’s hurt me feeling conflicted about my friends and not knowing how to let go.